Power and Honor
by Scarlet Flowers
Summary: A forbidden relationship begins between Draco and Ginny. They have found in each other a person whom they care for, but how can they go on living in secret? What will happen when other obstacles interfere? My version of what went on between them in Ootp
1. August 31 pt 1

[A/N- My first proper D/G fic! Please review, let me know how I'm doing. I really want to actually finish this story, and reviews will help! I have a lot written already, although it's not typed yet. Anyway, on with the story….]

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

The sun was making its final transition from day to night as it slowly disappeared behind the green mountains of Wiltshire. The Malfoys were seated for dinner, oddly formal for a normal night. Just as their meals usually went, none of them spoke to one another. An uncomfortable air sat among the family.

At the head of the table sat Lucius Malfoy, face set and concentrated on the chicken on his plate. To his right sat his wife, Narcissa. No food sat at her place. She sipped daintily on a glass of red wine, periodically refilling it, a self assured sneer on her face meant for no one. Her only son, Draco, sat across from her, trying to avoid the eyes of both his father and his mother. Looking at either would provoke strong emotion, and emotions were not a thing a Malfoy would allow to show.

One candle on the silver candelabra sitting in the middle of the table extinguished itself suddenly, causing the dim room to grow even darker. "Bonka, get us another candle now," Narcissa called out lazily. A cowering house elf sidled into the room silently, pressing herself against the wall. Narcissa glared at her severely as the little elf scurried forward and replaced the small film of wax remaining with a tall, unlit candle.

Nervousness was settling upon Draco. Over the years, he had learned how to read Lucius's moods, and this particular mood was not looking good. Tomorrow, he would be leaving for school, and his father would probably want to get rid of those last aggressions before Narcissa became his primary punching bag again.

Lucius looked up abruptly, his cold eyes glaring at his son. The very look caused Draco to flinch slightly. "I would like to have a word with you in my study now, son." Not waiting for a response, Lucius stood and strode out of the room.

Draco rose quickly, trying to keep up with his father. Before he exited the dining room, he gave his mother a brief glance. The arrogance had faded from her face, leaving behind the fear Draco was too scared to show.

He followed Lucius's wide footsteps through the long corridors of their manor, growing tenser as they drew closer to the study. The recent events hardly did anything to alleviate his father's temper. His violent outbursts had become considerably more frequent since June. Of course, Harry Potter was to blame for that, too. Draco hadn't thought it possible, but he hated the boy more than ever. Because of him, Lucius would disappear periodically, coming back bruised and angrier than ever, and taking it out on his wife and son. The Ministry may have been turning a blind eye to the second rise of the Dark Lord, but he was alive and well in the Malfoy manor.

A turn was made, and Lucius and Draco entered the study. Typical of most rooms in the mansion, Lucius's study was large and dim, with a large fireplace flickering against a wall. Tapestries and paintings were hung immoderately on the wall, most bearing the Malfoy crest. Immediately, Lucius walked over to the bar and began to open bottles.

"Take a seat, Draco," he ordered. Draco obliged and settled himself haphazardly on the edge of an antique sofa. Quickly, he tried to hide his intimidation of his father with a classic sneer. It was useless- his father could sense fear in a fly- but at least now he could not be accused of showing weakness, a classic complaint of his father.

Lucius sat next to his son, but did not make eye contact. His grey eyes were instead focused on the fire. The couch they shared was small, but there was still a considerable distance between the two. Several moments of silence passed, broken only by the sips Lucius took. It only allowed for Draco's anxiousness to grow.

For the second time that night, Draco flinched as his father's eyes settled upon him. They penetrated him, as if searching for any excuse to berate Draco. "So," Lucius drawled, "Tomorrow will begin your fifth year at that blasted school."

"Yes it will, sir," Draco answered promptly. He was thankful that his voice did not quaver.

Some of Draco's tension was relieved as Lucius looked back into the fire. There was a slight pause, and then, "It's your mother, of course you know, who insists you to there. Naturally, I would have preferred you receive a decent education- Durmstrang, perhaps. Your mother would have wasted away without you near, I'm afraid. She's hell enough to live with as it is, it would have been against my best interests to have a wife pining for a child."

A dry chuckle came from Lucius, causing Draco's stomach to churn with contempt. His mother barely spoke to Lucius, only out of fear. She spent her days trying to be invisible, only trying to avoid the brunt of his anger. _Where does he get the nerve to say that she is hard to live with?_ Draco thought angrily.

"Of course, you will have a new teacher for that preposterous course, Defense Against the Dark Arts. But, for the first time, it will be a woman from whom you can benefit. A ministry employee, and you know the power I have there." Lucius glared at Draco, as if daring him to say anything to the contrary. When Draco just nodded in response, Lucius continued.

"However, I'm afraid our lines of communication will be seriously impaired, if not cut off completely. New policies at the school will be enacted- censoring of the post, curriculum changes, things of that sort."

There was a soft clink as Lucius set the glass onto a table. He turned his body so he was facing his son directly. A glare of pure anger contorted his father's face. Draco was no longer sure that he could completely hide his fear. When Lucius spoke, his voice was low and harsh.

"This woman is on our side, and you must let that be known. It is your duty to uphold the family name, whatever it takes. As always, you are expected to keep the right company, make the choices that will allow you to join us when you are seventeen. We all have duties in this life, and yours is to serve the Dark Lord."

Draco was too scared to immediately respond to his father. He could easily tell his father what he wanted to hear, whether he or not he believed it. But every muscle in his body was frozen, stopped by the glare his father was giving him. Finally, he managed to nod up and down roughly.

The hesitation did not go unnoticed by Lucius. Before Draco could react, his father drew back a fist and hit his jaw. Pain came immediately, and before he could stop himself, Draco grabbed the spot with both hands.

Lucius was on his feet, and he grabbed Draco's arms and wrenched him upward. Now there was barely a distance between the two men. The event Draco had been dreading all night had finally arrived.

"You insolent little bastard!" his father yelled. "When the day comes, you will be a lucky man if the Dark Lord will accept someone as useless as you into his ranks!" He hit Draco again, this time connecting with his eye.

For a moment after, Lucius looked at his son with unmistakable disgust. He whispered in a lethal voice,"That is the way things will be done in this family, and you are to abide to that. Never forget- there is nothing more important in this world than power."

With a rough shove to help him, Draco got to the door. He walked properly down the first stretch of the hall, trying in vain to ignore the pain pulsating on his face. When he turned a corner and was out of his father's eyeshot, he broke out into a run that did not falter until he shut himself his room.

He peered onto the ornate mirror hung on his wall. Two dark red marks had appeared where his father had hit him. They would create large bruises if not taken care of. But at that moment, Draco didn't care.

The fear of becoming seventeen was becoming stronger as the day grew closer. He wouldn't come of age for another year and a half, but there were preparations that came before becoming a Death Eater, as his father had reminded him yet again.

So far, he had been able to do the one part by keeping up the Malfoy name. If there was one thing his father had taught him that he could agree with, it was that purity of blood was superior. Their families had been magic for centuries, while others who were first in their generation tried to claim that they were his equal. The very thought was ludicrous to him. Then there were those who just had no proper pride in their blood- The Weasleys, Sirius Black. They were superior by birth, but chose to buy into the ideal that every magical person was equal. They disgusted him even more than Mudbloods.

But the other part, Draco was not so confident he could do. Yes, he was superior to those with less pure blood, but killing them just for the fact did not seem justified at all. He had seen first had what being a Death Eater could do to a man. His father's threats and beatings had done the opposite of what they were intended to do- they made Draco realize he did not want to take that path. What the other path was, however, he did not know.

Narcissa crept into the room meekly, holding a cup of tea and a large bottle. Draco relaxed at the very sight of his mother, the only person who had ever shown genuine affection for him. Lucius had abused them both, but they always had one another to hold onto when it was all said and done.

Silently, Draco's mother wrapped her arms around him and placed a kiss on his forehead. Then, she considered his face carefully. "Where did he hit you, darling?" she whispered, face full of concern. He pointed to his cheek and his eye. She opened the bottle and applied some to a rag. Then she applied the cream delicately to his new bruises. It was a ritual he was all too familiar with. In the morning, any bruising would be invisible, although the pain would still linger.

Afterward, Narcissa held him for a moment. She whispered, almost too quietly to hear, "You know in your heart what is truly right."

After she left, Draco thought about this comment while he lay in bed. He knew it was meant to guide him, but he still could not decide just where that was.

[A/N- For the last time, PLEASE REVIEW!!]


	2. August 31 pt 2

[A/N- Here it is, chapter 2! I know, I have broken the number one rule of fiction by jumping perspectives. However, for this particular story I think it is necessary. PLEASE REVIEW and tell me honestly if you think it's terrible. Thanks!!]

The last night at Grimmauld Place was sticky and uncomfortable. Most nights there were borderline unlivable. The construction of the old home allowed for the air to be stagnant, stuffy and warm. On nights like that one, when it was boiling outside, the conditions inside were magnified.

It was nearing 1 am, and Ginny still had not slept at all. Both windows in the room she shared with Hermione had been opened on the off chance that any breeze passing though would reach them. Ginny was paging through her diary (a proper one, bought at a Muggle shop just to be safe) while Hermione snored loudly next to her.

Glancing over at her friend, Ginny shook her head in disbelief. _How can she possibly sleep when it's this hot?_ She returned her attention to her diary.

_Dear Diary- Tonight was the Yule Ball. Neville was not quite the date I would have asked for, although I did meet a nice boy named Michael, though….._

_Dear Diary- Something happened last night to Ron, Hermione, and Harry. No one will tell me anything, although it must have something to do with Professor Lupin- he has suddenly decided to resign. Snape is also in a particularly awful mood......_

Ginny let out a sigh. If only she had known. She paged quickly through more of her past entries, most filled with trivial complaints about her brothers, or musings on how Harry had looked at breakfast.

One entry near the front of the book caught her attention when she spotted a name- Malfoy. Frowning, she tried to recall any event that would involve him. There was that one thing, but that happened before she had this diary.

_Dear Diary- Last night I dreamt about that thing that happened with Malfoy. Oh, I wish I could tell more about it, but even thinking about it brings back all the bad memories! The nightmares about Tom have pretty much stopped. Dumbledore gave me a potion at the end of term that was supposed to prevent me from dreaming about it when I slept. But, this particular event keeps on coming back to me........_

Unable to read any further, Ginny shut the leather-bound book with a soft thump and shoved it back into her bag. Her heart was beating rapidly in her chest. It wasn't the event herself that frightened her to think about, it was just the timing. Just days before it had happened, Ginny had lain dying on the stone floor of the Chamber, and Harry had nearly been killed too. Any thought of the event seemed to release every memory of that terrible first year, causing her to always keep it hidden in the back of her mind.

Ginny rose and stood at the windowsill. The events of what had happened between her and Malfoy replayed in her mind, as if it had happened yesterday, not three years earlier. She could still feel his strong, yet not aggressive grip as he pushed her against his wall. His voice replayed itself- _What did he do to you? What did he do to you?_ His eyes, first alight with anger, changing gradually as they looked at her with concern for that ephemeral moment before she ran. _What did he do to you?_

Despite the warmth of the night, Ginny shivered. She still did not understand the event. Who was the he Malfoy was talking about? Was it Tom, as she had originally thought? It wasn't probable- she had been the only one possessed by him. Or was it, as she had theorized later, Lucius Malfoy? What did that one look of caring from her family's enemy mean?

Suddenly, it dawned on Ginny that she may not be the only person who had been traumatized by Lucius's actions.


	3. Train To Hogwarts

_[A/N- Chapter three! I'm typing this up because 1. I am an insomniac and 2. I am bored and everyone I know is busy today. Enjoy, and please review!!_

_Thanks to all of those who reviewed: akaSailorMars, Nichole Malfoy, Eve Granger, write more._

_Special thanks to wipd cream and HP! Thank you for your encouragement and your comments. I agree with your comments- the Draco shown in the books is only a shield for what he really is._

_Now, on with the story!!]_

The train thundered along, making Draco feel ill. He leaned his head against a window and played mindlessly with the Prefect badge pinned to his chest. It had only been an hour since he had left King's Cross, but he already missed his mother. The thought of her all alone with his father for so long made him feel unbelievably guilty, even though his father would probably do the same thing if he was there. But now, no one would be there to comfort her.

Something big was going on, which would consequently mean more stress on his father. At the station, Lucius had become extremely interested in a large black dog that accompanied Potter. From what Draco had deduced from the whispers exchanged between his father, Mr. Crabbe, Mr. Goyle, and Mr. Boot, that dog was none other than Sirius Black. No doubt, that would come into play with whatever malicious plans they were creating.

Nausea set in as Draco thought bitterly about Black's stupidity. The man was obviously no idiot; he had been the first to ever break out of Azkaban. He must know that he had a mark on his back. He had a secret disguise that none of the Death Eaters had known about, and he had wasted it just for Potter.

_What a special boy he is. Men risk their lives just to put him on a bloody train,_ Draco thought nastily.

Thinking about Potter made Draco feel particularly hateful towards him. Standing up, he said, "Come on, Crabbe, Goyle. Let's go pay a visit to our special friend Potter." They bumbled along behind him, chuckling stupidly.

Draco led the way down the corridor, checking each compartment for him. Finally, he found him, along with a whole pack of his admirers. _Perfect_, he thought. Draco slid the door open with a smirk and considered everyone sitting there one by one. There was a dazed looking blond girl, who did not look up from the magazine she was reading upside down. Next to her sat Longbottom, who still looked frightened at the sight of Draco and his friends, despite the glare he was attempting. An especially nasty sneer spread across Draco's face as he looked at Potter, Weasley, and Granger, all of whom were glowering back at him. He turned his eyes to the last member of the compartment.

The breath in Draco's mouth seemed to freeze for a moment. It was her! _How could I have possibly missed her?_ She looked different than she had in June, a little taller, her red hair a little longer. She stared right back at him, with an unreadable expression on her face. Everyone else was looking upon him in anger, even the weird blond one, but as always, she just looked.

Draco forced his eyes away from her when Potter spoke. "What do you want?" he barked. Words started to come out of Draco's mouth. He said something prosaic about being made prefect while Potter had not been. Potter retorted by calling him a git.

All of Potter's cronies laughed loudly at this, to Draco's displeasure. Even she was, although her giggle seemed a little too forced, Draco noticed.

_He's winning_, he thought. _I need to get out while I can still hold my head up_.

When the laughter faltered, Draco turned to Potter, smirking arrogantly. "Well, if I were you, I'd be _dogging_ my footsteps." He turned swiftly and started back towards his compartment.

Once there, he returned to his window seat and feigned sleep. He was not in the mood for the usual replay of events that usually occurred between himself, Crabbe, and Goyle after they had encountered Potter or one of his friends.

Something had changed in the way he looked at the girl. Ever since that day, in the classroom, Draco had felt something whenever they locked eyes, an odd sort of connection. They held an unlikely common bond, and although they had not spoken since that day, he knew that she understood. Whenever her brothers or Potter were fighting with him, she had always just stood there, staring in that odd way she did. But today, when he looked at her, something strange had happened. He had felt that connection, but also something else.

_No!_ he thought fiercely. _Don't even think it!_

The thought still came, and stayed with Draco for the rest of the train ride.

_I actually care about a Weasley._


	4. Encounter in the Owlrey

_[A/N- Thanks again to all those who reviewed, your suggestions were all really helpful. Special thanks to akaSailorMars (no, you don't have to write more hahah) and wipd cream and HP (I'm planning on extreme romance!!) Enjoy everyone.]_

For the second night, sleep would not come to Ginny. The other girls in her dorm slept deeply, having indulged in the welcome back feast earlier in the evening, but Ginny just tossed and turned. She hadn't eaten much at dinner, but then again she never did when she was distracted.

It was Malfoy's comments on the train that had thrown her off. Everyone else had just written it off as another example of him being a jerk, but Ginny saw something deeper. Why would he, if he was on the dark side, practically be telling them that the Death Eaters had recognized Sirius?

There was also something in the way his eyes had changed when they had locked with hers that completely confused her.

_Stop!_ she thought. _Don't even think it! He's a Malfoy, a good for nothing Malfoy, son of the man who gave you that blasted diary, the man who caused you to lose an entire year of your life......_

Ginny rolled over and picked up the picture frame sitting on her end table. Her mom, dad, and all of her brothers waved up at her excitedly, even Percy. She was the only sibling that he would still look at in pictures. _Probably because I'm so young and innocent. _She shook her head silently at the idea. _Innocent. I haven't been innocent since I was 10._

Putting the picture of her family down, Ginny picked up another frame. This time, Michael Corner waved shyly at her. His shaggy brown hair and blue eyes were set against a backdrop of blue sky. She could remember taking the picture, just several months earlier. They were on their way down to the last part of the Triwizard Tournament, all excited to see what would happen. Instead, they lost a student.

Energy was beginning to buzz in Ginny's legs. She couldn't just lay still for much longer. Glancing back over at her family, she decided she would write a letter to Bill. There wasn't a whole lot to say, but at least it would get her out of bed.

Once in the corridors, Ginny traveled catlike towards the Owlrey. When it came to sneaking out, she was thankful that she had Fred and George to teach her the ropes. So far, she had never been caught out of bed, although she had been plenty of times, to see Michael or to take a walk.

Still, when Ginny reached the Owlrey unabated, relief settled in. With a sigh, she shut herself in and crouched down onto the floor in a sliver of moonlight. Reaching into her bag, she pulled out her quill and a piece of parchment.

_Dear Bill- I really miss you! I haven't seen you in weeks. How is Fleur doing? Don't deny it, we all know she's your girlfriend!_

Suddenly, there were footsteps right outside the door. Ginny froze in terror, her heart beating impossibly fast. The knob began to turn, causing her to shut her eyes out of fear. The person slid in and shut the door, mindful to not make an excessive noise. _Thank Merlin, it's another student!_ It was too dark to make out a face.

The shadowy face turned towards Ginny. Whoever it was walked slowly towards a spot of moonlight, which cast light onto his face.

_Oh God. Malfoy._ Ginny thought._ He's a prefect! I'm really in trouble now._

His two gray eyes stared at her, and she stared back, unabashed. "Miss Weasley," he said quietly, finding his own spot on the floor. He kept his gaze, causing color to rise to Ginny's cheeks, but not in a bad way. Her head buzzed at her own good fortune. For whatever reason, he was not going to get her in trouble.

Draco Malfoy began composing his own letter in fine script while a cigarette sat burning between his fingers. Ginny tried to return her concentration to her letter, but it was becoming increasingly difficult. She found herself becoming acutely aware of the way his quill scratched the parchment, the scent of the smoke in the Owlrey.

There was so much she wanted to say to him, and now that they were alone, it was the perfect opportunity. She wanted to know why he had let her and her friends know about Sirius. She wanted to know why, from what she had been told by Hermione, he had practically told her friend to hide in the woods during the mayhem that had happened after the Quiddich World Cup. But most of all, she wanted to know what he had meant, when he had spoken to her that day.

Ginny couldn't help herself. Soon, she found herself asking, "Malfoy, just what side are you on?"

The quill stopped abruptly, and she could see his cheeks turning red. But when he spoke, he sounded as arrogant as ever. "What the hell are you talking about, Miss Weasley?"

Ginny didn't let him stop her. She continued, "Well, considering who you are, I would assume that you are on the side of your father, and you know what that means. But that doesn't make much sense, now does it? If you were on the dark side, why did you make that comment on the train? About Harry _dogging_ his footsteps?"

Draco looked up at her fiercely. "That's all it was, Miss Weasley- a comment. You all can take however you want."

He stood up abruptly and tied his letter to an owl. He strode quickly towards the door, and paused before turning the knob. Draco turned around, gave a small nod, and said curtly, "Good night, Miss Weasley." Then he was gone.

Ginny headed back to the Gryffindor Tower not long after, leaving her letter unfinished in her bag. How could she have been so stupid? Of course he was not going to tell her what side he was on! She had just been so curious, and she had to ask. At least now the question was out. Now she could go on living her life without having to wonder about Malfoy.

_Miss Weasley_, she thought to herself as she settled down in bed and closed her eyes._ How ridiculous_. She dreamed that she was chasing someone, a blond haired someone, who escaped just as she reached out to grab him each time. When she woke up, she knew that she wouldn't forget about Malfoy that quickly.

_[A/N- Yeah this chapter is definitely not one of my best.__ I found it pretty difficult to write, since it's D/G's first real interaction and all. Oh well, I'll try to make the next one more plausible! Thanks, please r/r!!]_


	5. The Answer

_[A/N- Thank you for the reviews, esp. those who have reviewed again- wipd cream and HP, akaSailorMars, Tigereyes92389, Eve Granger and everyone else. I'm overwhelmed by the response to this story, thank you everyone! Hope you like this chapter, I had fun writing it. There's no extreme romance in this chapter, but it's coming soon!]_

A week after his encounter with the youngest Weasley, Draco was still seething. It had always been apparent to him that the Weasleys were below him, being so poor and lacking in proper pride. Her rude questioning shouldn't have been a shock to him. She was _uncultured_. What did she know about manners?

The thing that really got to him was the nature of the question. Who was she to ask what side he was on, when they were both clearly on two different sides?  And, when he took into consideration the thoughts that had crossed his mind since their late night encounter, how dare she make him reconsider his choices?

He began to wonder to himself, _why do I do the things I do_? What was the purpose in warning Potter, even as unintentionally as he did? He hated Potter with every fiber of his being, which was for certain. The hate that flowed through Draco's blood every time he happened to lay eyes on Mr. Perfect and his two admirers was undeniable. The fact pointed out by Ginny Weasley, that he was actually helping when he had thought all along that he was being nasty, made his anger grow stronger.

He searched himself for an explanation for his actions, but all he could see were the two terrified eyes of an eleven-year-old girl as she looked at him.

It was a cool day for September as Draco made his way down to Care of Magical Creatures. Pansy was tagging along behind him, blabbering on about what she had done over the summer. Just why she was, Draco couldn't figure out. They had seen one another on several occasions over the break and she had told him everything each time.

He turned and looked over at the Herbology greenhouses. Although he would never admit it out loud, it was one of his favorite lessons. There was something oddly relaxing about caring for plants. For the same reason, he had kept up with Care of Magical Creatures, even with Hagrid.

A group of fourth years were entering the greenhouses. Draco found himself scanning the group, looking for nothing in particular.....

His heart did a backflip when he saw a short girl with long red hair, walking with another girl with blond hair. The odd, fluttery feeling he felt at first while looking at her was soon replaced by his resentment for what she had said to him.

Draco jumped when Pansy attempted to slip her hand into his. Moodily, he pulled his away, totally ignoring the hurt look on her face. Sure, she was great for a snog every now and then, but there was absolutely no need for a commitment.

The two joined the rest of their class. To Draco's pleasure, Professor Grubbly-Plank was acting in place of that oaf for an unspecified amount of time. Finally, he could properly care for his magical creatures.

Looking over at Potter, Weasley, and Granger, Draco was sickeningly pleased by the depressed looks on their faces. Once the lesson progressed, he would start rubbing in the absence of their friend.

The lesson started with a creature Draco actually recognized- bowtruckles. No freakish inbred monsters like the skrewts. _Or_, he thought to himself nastily, _that half-giant. _He could remember going on adventures in the woods towards the back of the property, in search of bowtruckles. Sometimes, Pansy would be a part of that. He shot her an affectionate smile at the memory, causing her to just gawk back at him, now totally confused.

The Professor began to ask a series of questions about the creatures, which Draco volunteered to answer each time. But, as always, Granger got picked. Out of frustration, he did a buck-toothed impression of her, although he had noticed the change in her teeth lately.

As soon as he had finished his sketch of the bowtruckle (which he was quite impressed with), he called for Crabbe and Goyle. Together, they walked up to Potter, who was talking to Professor Grubbly-Plank.

"Excuse me," Potter said to Professor Grubbly-Plank. "Where's Hagrid?"

"Never you mind," the witch replied coldly. Her eyes moved onto Draco for a moment of recognition. He knew that she was one of his father's frequent acquaintances.

Draco sidled over to Potter with a smirk on his face. He muttered, "Maybe the stupid oaf's got himself badly injured." He had heard his father and his friends talking back at the manor. The half-giant was doing some secret mission for Dumbledore, something that involved giants. The fact that he knew more about it than Potter did was extremely pleasing.

"Maybe," he continued, "he's messing with stuff that's too _big _for him, if you get my drift."

He walked back over to Pansy, who was struggling with her sketch. Potter and his friends sat down in a patch of flowers like idiots, whispering obviously. Judging from the look on Potter's face, he had known nothing about his big friend. Draco wondered how much else he didn't know.

Draco began to tell Pansy in an audible voice how the Ministry was beginning to crack down on substandard teaching. _That ought to get him going,_ he thought. Sure enough, Potter looked just about ready to pounce, while Granger was attempting to calm him down.

When the lesson finished, Draco walked across the lawn with Pansy, who was chattering incessantly again. They had a twenty minute break before Arithmancy would start. She reached up to brush a strand of hair out of his eye, and he flinched. Her fingers had brushed one of the bruises his father had so lovingly given him on his last night before school.

The Herbology class was letting out of the greenhouses. Automatically, Draco turned his head sharply and saw her red head walking out... and towards Potter. His anger towards Potter grew even deeper.

"Draco, what's the matter?" Pansy asked, her voice full of false concern.

"Nothing," Draco muttered. He began to walk ahead of her until he had lost her.

Dinner that night was one of Draco's favorites- beef stew- but he found he couldn't eat a thing. He was beginning to worry about his mother. She hadn't answered his owl from over a week ago, and she always wrote back immediately. He thought to himself, _If he's done something to her, I swear... I'll tear him limb from limb_.

He began to wonder just how many people his father had hurt in his lifetime. There was himself and his mother, of course. But then there were also the people he had hurt because he was a Death Eater. Before, Draco had never questioned this. He had been brought up to believe that they deserved it, because they weren't pure blood. Now, Draco was beginning to think that they _didn't_ deserve to go through that pain. Weren't they people, too? Was blood really that important?

It had been these thoughts that had run through his head that day when he had seen his father marching out of Hogwarts, furious. He hadn't known then exactly what had happened, and he still didn't. He did know, however, that it involved Ginny Weasley, the Chamber of Secrets, and the Dark Lord. He had known that his father was somehow responsible for whatever hell she had gone through that year. The idea that Lucius had injured the innocent life of a young girl for his own interests sickened Draco every time he thought about it. He needed answers to what exactly his father had done, which is why he had hunted her down that day. She never told him with words, but he knew from looking into those eyes that she had been hurt by Lucius. It was the same look he saw whenever he looked in the mirror. It was the common bond that prevented him from ever doing injury to her.

The scent of the food was making Draco feel nauseous. He decided to write again to his mother, hoping to get some kind of response. "I'm going to the Owlrey," he muttered.

"But Draco! You haven't eaten a thing!" Pansy said loudly.

"I know," he said through clenched teeth.

Without looking back to her, he marched out of the hall. He no longer cared if he hurt her. Their relationship had been a joke, just another thing that suited Lucius's best interests. No doubt, his father had expected them to marry- a good, strong, pure blood marriage. Draco only let her hang on out of fear for his father. But now, he wanted nothing to do with him.

It was around seven thirty when he reached the Owlrey. Five other students were there, scribbling letters back home. Draco found a spot on the floor and began writing to Narcissa. His nasty habits craved a cigarette, but he couldn't have one yet. The other kids couldn't be trusted to keep a secret, even if he threatened them.

Half an hour passed. Draco continued scratching out a letter full of random thoughts. He didn't want to return to the Slytherin Common Room yet. Some of the other kids left, and others came in. So when the door creaked open, he barely took notice.

A girl gasped loudly, and then let out a sigh. He looked up and saw her, brown eyes staring at him, standing in the threshold. No one else was in the Owlrey. Before he could stop himself, he noticed how attractive she looked in the darkening light. "Miss Weasley," he said, nodding once in recognition. He was shocked to find that he still had a voice.

"Hello," she said breathlessly. She settled down on the floor but didn't take out any parchment.

"Do you mind if I smoke?" Draco asked politely.

"No, not at all."

Pleased, Draco reached into his bag and pulled out a cigarette, which he lit with his wand. He went to return to his letter, but found he had nothing more to say. He put away his quill and rolled up the letter. She just sat there staring at him.

"Don't you have a letter to write?" he asked.

Blushing, she shook her head. Then she said meekly, "Actually, I came up here to talk to you."

Draco froze at these words. She had come to see him? His annoyance was overpowered by the pleasure he found at this thought.

"Oh?" he said arrogantly. "What could you possibly have to say to me?"

"I.... uh.... I heard what you said to Harry during Care of Magical Creatures."

"And?" Draco snapped.

"And I wanted to ask you again," she said quietly. "Just what side are you on?"

Anger rushed through Draco again, but also a new feeling- fear.

For a minute, they stared at one another. Draco was becoming unnerved. This girl was not going to give up. She wanted answers and she would get them, no matter what it took. Her eyes bore into his, and he had the odd feeling that she knew more about him than she should.

He knew what the answer was, and that was what scared him. He couldn't be on Lucius's side, not after seeing just what that side was all about. _But could I actually be on their side?_ he wondered to himself. _What could I possibly get from that?_

Her eyes begged for a response, and looking into those eyes, he knew the answer.

The word escaped his mouth like the smoke he was blowing out periodically- slowly and quietly. He was so quiet that he knew that only she would be able to hear him.

"Yours."

A small smile appeared on her face, but not in an arrogant way. She seemed genuinely pleased to hear for herself what the answer really was.

The gravity of what he had said began to hit Draco. _No, I've said too much, to the wrong person.... too much.... too much..... _

Standing up, he made his way to the exit quickly. Her eyes followed him to the door, the same strange smile on her face. "Good night, Miss Weasley," he said quickly before leaving the Owlrey for what he decided would be the last time.

It was too much for Draco to handle. Never before in his life had he told his secrets to anyone, not even his mother. Now, he had twice let himself become vulnerable to a Weasley. There was just something in the way she looked at him that made him trust her. And as she had proven that night, she knew more about him than he did. Because of that, he found that he wanted her to be a part of him more than ever- whatever that would take.

_And I'd give up forever to touch you_

_'Cause I know that you feel me somehow_

_You're the closest heaven that I'll ever be_

_And I don't wanna go home right now_

**Iris by Goo Goo Dolls**


	6. Midnight Meetings

_[A/N- Thank you to all my regular reviewers, you know who you are! I love to hear what you have to say and how you enjoy my story. This might be the last update until Thursday- I'm going to an Incubus concert and also Aerosmith so ahem I may be out of it. I've updated my profile, please stalk me and visit my Live Journal!! Enjoy!]_

The answer Ginny had been searching for since the age of eleven had finally been revealed to her. All those hours she had spent silently speculating no longer mattered, because now she had heard from the man himself. It had been brief but it was for sure- Draco Malfoy was on her side.

After the event in the Owlrey, she did not see Draco right away. Sometimes when she was walking to class, she could swear that she could see someone with blonde hair out of the corner of her eye, but whenever she looked, he was gone. In the Great Hall, he always seemed consumed in some private conversation with Pansy Parkinson. It could have been easy for Ginny to feel put off, now that they had become oddly personal with one another twice and he still ignored her. Still, every time she glanced out of her greenhouse during Herbology and saw him during his Care of Magical Creatures, she couldn't help the fluttery feeling in the pit of her stomach.

There had barely been a spare moment for Ginny to wonder about Malfoy any longer. To her surprise, Ron had been selected to join the Gryffindor Quiddich team. After a summers worth of flirtatious letters, Michael Corner, who had given Ginny her first kiss back in June, had asked her to go with him to Hogsmeade the first week of October. Hermione had already been telling her about some sort of meeting they were having that day, and since it was anti-Umbridge, Ginny had automatically replied positively. So, she made Michael promise to come with her to that, and then they would have the rest of the day to themselves.

The day of the Hogsmeade visit, Ginny got up early to get herself ready. Normally, her appearance didn't hold much importance, but she suddenly wanted Michael to see her looking good. Hogsmeade visits meant that they could wear whatever they wanted, but Ginny wasn't used to wearing Muggle clothes. Michael, a half-blood, would notice if she was wearing something twenty years out of style.

"Oh god," she moaned while examining the contents of her wardrobe. "This is hopeless."

A fellow Gryffindor in her year, Esmeralda, put down the copy of Witch Weekly she had been reading and walked up to Ginny. "Here, let me help," she said in a slightly pitying voice. Esmeralda went through what seemed to be every article of clothing Ginny owned before deciding on a wool black sweater, a gray skirt with stockings and black shoes with a small heel.

After dressing, Ginny and Esmeralda looked at their work in the mirror. "Perfect!" Esmeralda said. Ginny had to agree. For one of the only times in her life, she felt good about the way she looked. Not only did the outfit look great on her, but she had finally mastered a waving charm with her hair. Esmeralda had done her makeup so it looked good without being overdone.

Happily, Ginny wondered what Michael would think when he saw her. Then, all the sudden, she thought about what another guy would think.... a guy with gray eyes that she could get lost in for hours....

For the remainder of the time before she was set to meet Michael, Ginny went around trying to recruit more people to come to the meeting at the Hog's Head. But since the meeting was going to be something like the Order for kids, she was having difficulties determining who was trustworthy and who wasn't. Luckily, she found Luna, and they managed to scrape together a few Ravenclaws in their year to come.

It was almost noon, and that was the time Ginny had set with Michael. Before going, she wanted to fix her hair and makeup a little. "You go ahead, Luna, I'll meet you there," she said. The two friends turned two separate corners.

The corridor Ginny entered was empty. All of the classrooms contained there were empty and dusty, and didn't seem to have been used since before her parents had gone to school. She continued on, knowing the shortcut from Fred and George. Her steps were leaving footprints on the dust. While walking, she looked down at them, and noticed another set of footprints just as fresh as hers. Curious, she looked at them and tried to see where they led.

Suddenly, a strong arm grabbed her around the waist while another hand clamped over her mouth. Terrified, Ginny struggled and tried to scream, but she was too weak for her captor and their hand concealed her shouts. The person dragged her into one of the classrooms and shut the door with a soft click.

Draco stood before her, looking stressed and worried. Ginny was relieved to see that her kidnapper was, for the second time, only him and not someone malicious. They looked at each other for a moment. Both took in deep breaths.

When Draco spoke, it was a whisper. "I need to see you soon."

"What do you mean? When?" she whispered back. Her brain was flooded with puzzled thoughts. It had been over a week since he had confessed to her, and he had ignored her up until now. What could he possibly want?

"It means that I need to see you!" A hint of annoyance tainted his whisper. "Can we meet here tonight?"

"Er, sure," Ginny replied, confused. "Draco, what's going on?"

He started slightly at the sound of his name. Then he whispered, "I don't know exactly, but something is going on. I'm meeting with my mother today. You're the only one I trust with this. Will you be here?"

Ginny's heart hammered in her chest. Feelings she didn't even know were possible began to flow through her blood. _You're the only one I trust_. Sure, taken into context, it meant almost nothing, but it still made Ginny feel like she was floating.

"I'm so confused, but yes, I'll definitely be here," she whispered.

A small smile appeared briefly on Draco's drawn face. It disappeared, and he continued to look at Ginny. She looked right back, unblinking. Just as they had done so long ago....

He opened his mouth and then closed it, as though he was about to say something and then thought better of it. "What?" she whispered breathlessly. He just shook his head. Ginny wished he would say anything, so she could be sure that this was real.

"I gotta go," he finally said, rushing towards the door. "Be here at midnight." Quickly, Draco left the room, once again leaving Ginny alone to figure out just what had happened between them. What exactly did he need to talk to her about, and why did he look so worried?

Leaving a considerable space of time between their departures, Ginny left the classroom eventually, now late for Michael's date. Compared to what she had just felt when she was with Draco, the mild wavy feeling Ginny got with Michael seemed trivial. Still, she went to go meet him, and made up some dumb excuse involving Peeves. After all, she had promised Hermione she would be at the meeting.

When she left the classroom at noon, Ginny thought that midnight would take forever to come. The anticipation of being alone with Draco would drive her crazy. But, with all the day's events, it came relatively quickly. She had attended the meeting at the Hog's Head, and had learned all about Dumbledore's Army, which she had become a member of. Then she had whisked Michael off to Madam Puddifoot's, having decided to show him a good time even though her heart was no longer in it. He held her hand and offered to pay for her coffee, which she had to admit, was very nice. Her mind wandered recklessly throughout their drinks.

Afterward, she had led him down the Hogsmeade path to the small bridge that led out of town. Every couple would go there to snog during their weekends. They sat close on a rock and kissed for awhile before heading back for the castle. Their kisses were no longer exciting and new for Ginny, as they had been in the spring. She had only done it so he couldn't say anything bad about her in the Quiddich locker room.

When she arrived back at the Gryffindor Tower, Hermione informed her immediately that Ron had found out about her secret romance with Michael. Deciding to let her brother cool off for awhile, Ginny had holed up in her dorm all day catching up on all the homework she had been putting off for so long.

Around 10, the other girls in her dorm went to sleep, leaving Ginny two hours to contemplate her secret meeting with Draco. They would stand close so their voices could be heard... so close that she could feel his breath on her neck...

Every time she tried to think of it, Ginny's imagination brought her to some romantic encounter with Malfoy, though in her heart she knew it was just a formal passing of information. Still, she could not stop herself from imagining what his lips would feel like...

When she arrived, he was already there, perched upon an old desk. After performing a locking charm, she sat on the one next to his.

"So?" she whispered.

Draco's face turned to hers. "So I met with my mother today." He shook his head. "I shouldn't have asked you to meet me like this, Miss Weasley. I didn't get nearly as much information out of her about the, you know. People like my father. But since I did let some... information about myself leak out to you, I felt that I should tell you everything I know." His demeanor was back to formal, no longer frantic as it had been that afternoon.

Ginny nodded, allowing him to continue.

"She told me only what she's heard. There's some elaborate plan out there, to do something with Hero Boy. Is it all right if we use code names? Anyway, it must involve the Ministry, because she has heard many of their employee's names floating around. I'm sorry I don't have more to tell you. I shouldn't have asked you to come," he said again.

"It's okay," she said gently.

"He..." Draco stammered, and then looked at Ginny meaningfully. Her heart felt like it would explode. "He's... he's worse than he was. She-my mother, she's being controlled by him. Not by an unforgivable, just physically and mentally. She says that she is barely allowed out of the manor. Most days, she just stays in her quarters all day, too afraid of him to go out."

Even in the dark, Ginny could see his cheeks going red. She could tell that he had said more than he had intended to, and was now starting to regret it. Nodding, Ginny whispered, "I understand."

Draco glanced over and they met eyes for a moment. Ginny knew that he needed to know about the new organization they were forming, now that he had been so open with her. She told him everything that had happened at the Hog's Head, and when she finished he looked at her with rapt attention.

"Wow," he began. He hesitated, and then said, "That is an amazing idea. I mean, anything you can do to try and stop them."

"Yes," Ginny replied.

Draco looked pensive for a moment. "You know, I never explained to you just why I'm on your side. It has nothing to do with your useless Gryffindor ideas- honor, bravery. It's about him. He's hurt my mother, he's hurt me, he's hurt others," he glanced at her, "and I can't let that happen. I can't let innocent victims or my mother suffer like that."

Without being able to stop herself, Ginny reached over and grabbed a hold of his hand. As if he didn't know what had occurred, he looked down at their touch. Slowly, his eyes made their way upward, over Ginny's body and her face before meeting her eyes once again. The unexplainable connection Ginny always felt between herself and Draco seemed to grow clearer with the touch of their hands. Looking at his expression, she knew that he felt it too.

"I understand," she whispered. "I understand, because I have been hurt, too. You know that. And that's why we need to be together."

Both of them leaned forward slowly, trying to bridge the small gap that existed between that. Ginny parted her lips slightly, and could see Draco doing the same. "Ginny," he whispered softly. Their lips met perfectly and the two shared a long, deep kiss. Neither one seemed to want to break their connection.

Ginny felt like she was flying, soaring above the castle, higher than any broom could ever take her. No one would ever understand who she was and what she had been through better than he could. Letting go was not a possibility for her.


	7. Quiddich Fight

_[A/N- Sorry for the delay, guys! The last two days have been just amazing for me. Tuesday, I went to an Incubus concert and Wednesday I saw Aerosmith. I'm telling you, if you ever get the opportunity to go to a concert, take it! Seeing a band play live and experiencing the music feels so good. Then last night, I was going to write this, but I got all caught up in the baseball game (go Yankees!)._

_Check out the Live Journal, link's in my profile._

_wipd cream- good luck in your new place!_

_Thanks to Sailor Mars, Tigereyes, Eve Granger, and any reviewers I may have missed!!]_

The first weekend of October had started out stressful for Draco. Narcissa had finally written him back, and wanted to meet with him in a private room in Three Broomsticks. He had met his mother there, and his worst fears had been confirmed. Two black eyes sat dramatically upon her pretty face. There was very little she could tell him about the Death Eaters, but he knew he had to fear for her safety.

That night, he had gone to meet Ginny, and had only planned on telling her exactly what his mother had told him. She was the only one in the castle he knew he could trust. He hadn't expected, however, on leaving without his heart.

She knew exactly what to say to him, and he found that he could speak just as freely as her. They understood each other, and all the pain they had gone through. That kiss, there in the dark classroom where they had secretly met, connected Draco to her in a way he didn't really understand.

Weeks started to fly by for Draco, who was used to counting the days. Nearly every night, he would meet with her, and they would share whatever information they had found. With great pleasure, he had learned all about the DA, and all they were doing to defeat Umbridge. In public, Draco sucked up to the woman all he could without vomiting. It made him sick, the way she kept a tight grip on freedom. But, he knew it would get back to Lucius if he wasn't a sycophant.

Some nights, they would just skip the conversation altogether and start kissing. Draco got to know every plane of her beautiful mouth. Their physical connection was undeniable. Often, Draco would sit distracted in class, imagining him touching her once again. There was urgency in the way they would kiss, and he knew she felt it too.

Whenever they were together, either in the deserted classroom, the Owlrey, or the Astronomy Tower, they were one. Once they left each other, they were in two separate worlds again, and on two separate sides. It was the way things had to be done. Going public would be suicide for both of them. Lucius, of course, would waste no time and would kill Draco for even laying eyes on the blood traitor. The Weasleys would disown their daughter for yet again giving away her heart to the first person who would take it. They never spoke it out loud, but Draco knew that she felt it too- what they had was real.

The first Quiddich match of the season was drawing nearer and nearer, and it would be Slytherin vs. Gryffindor. Every night, Draco practiced, either going down to the pitch or going over plays in his head. Whatever chance he got, he would say something snide to Ron Weasley. He knew that the slightest pressure would break his spirit. Draco may have been falling desperately for his little sister, but he loathed Ron more than ever.

The morning of the match, Draco went into the Great Hall planning on throwing one more comment at Potter and Weasley before the game. The night before, he had been up late with Montague, writing a cute little song dedicated to Ron. Weasley, Potter, and Granger were sitting together, as usual. Luckily, Ginny wasn't with them when he arrived. He still wasn't sure if he could do it in front of her.

A smirk on his face, Draco began his march over to the table. He glanced over to the Ravenclaw table for a second, and stopped dead in his tracks.

There she was, looking just as beautiful as ever, even in red and gold. She was seated next to a handsome boy with dark brown hair and blue eyes, chatting cheerily. Drifting his gaze downward, Draco felt his stomach plummet. Her hand was entwined with the boy's, just hanging there innocently below the table.

An explosion of feelings surfaced inside Draco. _I should have known better, she's just a whore!_ he thought to himself. Running a hand through his slicked back hair, he began to think, _how could she do this to me? How?_

Anger surged through Draco's blood. He wanted nothing more than to hurt her, just like she had hurt him. He went over to his own table and sat next to Pansy. Without saying a word, he put his arm around her and held her close.

"Oh! Draco!" she squealed, stunned and pleased. She began to talk, but Draco wasn't listening. His eyes were boring into Ginny, willing her to feel the pain that he was feeling. He watched as she stood up and planted a kiss on the boy's cheek, making Draco even angrier. She looked up, and they met eyes for a moment. Hurt flashed across her face that had been happy just moments before. _That's right_, Draco thought. _No Weasley will hurt a Malfoy_.

Still looking crushed, Ginny made her way towards her own table. _Go back to where you belong, Gryffindor trash_. "Good luck, Ron! Good luck, Harry!" she said loudly. Bending down, she embraced Potter and he hugged her back, looking puzzled. She pranced out of the Hall, giving just one brief glance back at the Slytherin table, a smug look on her face.

He hadn't thought it could be possible, but Draco was angrier than ever. He wanted nothing more than to kick Potter's ass to the ground at the game today.

Standing up abruptly, Draco ignored the squeal Pansy gave as she tipped over and made his way to the pitch. He changed into his robes in silence, his jaw locked. This would be the day that he would finally beat the Gryffindors.

Draco hated himself for believing that what he had with Ginny was real. It was just a brief fling, just a way for the both of them to relieve the little physical tension between them. He was beginning to think that she was just using him to get information. She probably believed he was on the side of the Dark Lord. He had spilled his soul for her, been completely honest with her, and she turned around and ran off with every other boy in the school- and worst of all, with Potter. How could he have been so stupid to believe that she actually had faith in him?

Though he tried to write it off, it was more apparent to Draco than ever that he really cared about her.

The game went on, and Draco felt just about ready to kill. He, along with the other Slytherins, sang 'Weasley is our King' over and over, and their plan was successful. Weasley made a terrible debut as a Keeper. But, as always, Potter was on top of his game, always just ahead of Draco. There were several times when either one of them just missed the snitch by an inch. Then, they both saw it, down at the Slytherin end.

Draco sped towards the snitch with all his strength, wanting nothing more than to beat Potter. He drew closer and closer, with Potter right next to him. They both extended their arms at the same moment.... Draco could feel a tiny wing on the tips of his fingers...

Potter's hand closed around the snitch and he flew upward. Frustration filled Draco as he flew towards the ground. "Fuck! Goddamn!" he shouted as he dismounted, not caring if he got in trouble anymore. All summer, he had been practicing every chance he got, wanting to finally give Potter a run for his money, and he had blown it again. He had been so close, he could feel it, and Potter was the hero for the millionth time.

Looking up, Draco witnessed with sick pleasure Potter getting hit by a Bludger. Of course, he was fine, as always. The Gryffindor team celebrated loudly on the ground.

All the events of the day began to build up inside Draco. The day had been worse than any he had encountered at the Malfoy Manor, and there had been many terrible ones. The only girl he had ever genuinely cared for had carelessly run off with other guys.... Potter had beaten him once again....

It became too much for him to handle. Draco needed to do something, or he felt he might explode. Quickly, he walked over to Potter, with Crabbe and Goyle behind him.

The words coming out of Draco's mouth were all harsh, and mostly aimed at Weasley. At first, Potter brushed him off, being the noble boy he was. But, Draco noticed, the Weasleys were all growing red and looking aggressive. _Good_, he thought. He wanted nothing more than to hurt them all.

"You like the Weasleys, don't you, Potter? Spend the holidays there and everything, don't you? Can't see how you stand the stink, but I suppose when you've been dragged up by Muggles even the Weasleys' hovel smells okay." The two twins were only being held back by the rest of their team. Draco knew that the next words would make them snap, and so he chose them carefully.

He laughed loudly, and then lowered his voice to a deadly whisper. "Or perhaps, you can remember what your mother's house stank like, Potter, and Weasley's pigsty reminds you of it...."

In a split second, George Weasley and Potter both ran towards him. Both launched themselves onto him, punching him everywhere. Draco managed to get a good swipe at the twin's lip before being knocked to the ground.

It was over just as soon as it started, with Potter and the Weasley being dragged away. Pain was blossoming in Draco's stomach, blood was running freely out of nose, and he couldn't move due to the many hits he had taken to the crotch. It hurt like hell, but Draco didn't care. He knew that he would be taken to the hospital wing to rest, while Potter and the Weasley would be punished.

Sure enough, he heard Madam Hooch screaming at them to go to McGonagall's office. The students in the stand were all on their feet, trying to figure out what had happened. Montague helped Draco to his feet, and limping, Draco started towards the castle. He gave one last look to the Gryffindor stand, searching for her.

She was standing there next to Granger, who looked like she was about to have a heart attack. Ginny just stood there, emotionless. They met eyes and her expression changed into one of severe disappointment. It wasn't the anger he had expected, or even tears of sadness. Slowly, she shook her head back and forth, as if saying, _what have you done_?

An unfamiliar feeling overtook Draco as he made his way to the hospital wing. He was beginning to regret having hurt Potter, all because of the way she had looked at him.

_[A/N- Update soon, I promise! Words spoken by Draco during the fight are, of course, copyright JKR. I'm trying to avoid using her words exactly, but I think it was necessary for that scene. Review por favor!!]_


	8. Real

_[A/N- Once again, my apologies for not updating sooner. I was at my sister's house all weekend and I got home yesterday but I was a bit out of it so I didn't feel like writing. Only a few people read this anyway so whatever. I would really just like to complete one story for once in my life. Please review!!]_

The events at the Quiddich match had left most of Gryffindor in a silent depression. Almost everyone had gone to bed early, and all the good couches were actually free. Ginny sat on one with Hermione, who was going through a complicated Arithmancy book. She had not seen her brothers or Harry since before the game, although she knew the entire story of what had occurred. Knowing them and the context of what had happened, they were probably mourning the loss of their Quiddich privileges alone in their dorms.

Inside, Ginny was furious. How could Draco have done that to the people that were her family? They had a brief fling, only a couple of weeks long and almost completely physical, but she still trusted him and was beginning to care about him. Then he went and turned around, pulling a stunt like that to intentionally hurt the people she truly cared about. It made her question his intentions. _Maybe he's not on my side. Maybe he's just trying to overtake me, like Tom. Maybe he just wants me for my body...._

The worst part was, there was no one Ginny could tell her secret to without condemning herself and Draco. Normally, if she was having boy troubles, she would run off to talk to Hermione or now, Luna. Having to keep it a secret was driving her insane.

The aggression was growing too much for her to handle alone. She wanted to find him, and scream at him until his ears bled, until he felt as low as he had stooped...

"I'll be back soon," she said absently to Hermione, her mind in another place. She thought that Hermione had said something in return, but she was too absorbed in what she wanted to do to listen.

It was nearly eight o'clock, almost curfew. Especially with Umbridge, curfew needed to be followed carefully. Ginny didn't care at all. He needed to be taught a lesson, and soon.

Heels clicking beneath her and robes billowing behind her, she tore through the corridors in search of a blond head. A flutter of anticipation passed through her when she found him, trudging along all alone in the Transfiguration wing. Quickly, she glanced around. No one else was anywhere in sight.

"Hey!" she shouted out, causing him to turn around. His face was strained, and it grew even more so when he set eyes on her. As always when she saw him, Ginny felt a different excitement in her midsection, which she usually reveled in. Tonight, she suppressed it, trying to focus instead on her anger.

They both stopped several feet apart, facing one another. Ginny placed both hands on her hips in a position she saw often on her mother when one of the boys was in trouble.

"Ginny," he began in an intense whisper, his eyes imploring towards her.

She held up a hand, and he was silent. Stepping forward, she grabbed one of his sleeves and pulled him into an empty classroom. It was the one most commonly used in the lower level classes, as the fresh litter of papers on the floor indicated. Once inside, she performed a locking charm on the knob.

Now Draco was desperately avoiding his eyes, a look of guilt on his face.

"That's right, you're in trouble," Ginny said loudly, shoving him lightly. He stumbled slightly and settled on his usual spot, the top of a desk, and put a hand through his hair.

"Just what the hell where you thinking?! Why, Draco? Why did you do it? They're banned from Quiddich for life, did you know that? All because of what you did!"

He looked up at this information, which was obviously new to him. A different expression crossed his face, this time angry. He stood up abruptly and got closer so they were almost touching.

"Just what the hell where you thinking, Miss Weasley?! You know I saw you this morning, kissing that guy!"

Ginny froze for a moment, but kept her defiant glare. She had kissed Michael that morning, but only in a friendly way. Really, she was trying to let him down easy but gradually, so he wouldn't call her a tease. It was harder than she had thought it had been. She hadn't been counting on Draco seeing her there. Still, why did it matter to him?

"Why do you care? You have Pansy, so I can have Michael. It's not like what we have is real, anyway."

The words were meant to hurt him, and the look on Draco's face proved their effect. Stricken but not yet broken, he went on, "No, it's wasn't real. It's an insane lack of judgment on my part. We should both just forget this whole embarrassing ordeal ever occurred. Just go! Leave!"

Now it was Ginny's turn to feel hurt. She didn't want it to end. She had only said those things to get at Draco, and now he wanted her gone.

It was real. She could feel it, whenever he looked at her, whenever they kissed, whenever they were as close as they were at that moment...

His chest was heaving up and down heavily from his anger. Upon expansion, it brushed Ginny's own chest. Looking up into his eyes, her own expression no longer one of hatred, she whispered, "Fine, I'm leaving."

Her actions were no longer those of the girl she had once known. Defiantly, she moved just an inch closer, so her entire body was pushed against his. Her arms wrapped slowly around his back, drawing him even closer. Their eyes remained locked, and she watched as Draco's cold, angry stare turned into a longing gaze.

It was the closest she had ever felt to a boy, even to Draco. She had kissed Michael several times before, and she and Draco had shared many passionate snogging sessions, but none of those encounters compared to the way she felt when she looked up at him that night. _So this is what falling in love feels like_, she thought to herself.

Their lips connected suddenly and urgently. Draco quickly put his arms back around her, completing the embrace. They didn't stay there for long, though. The kisses drew faster and more intense, and Draco's hands crawled up to discover the front of Ginny's robes. Submissively, Ginny let him touch her breasts, and moved her mouth to his neck.

"Shit," he moaned as her mouth gracefully kissed his neck. Ginny's hands worked trying to remove the robe Draco was wearing.

"Wait," he whispered, and stepped back. The sudden lack of connection made Ginny crave him even more desperately. Draco quickly removed his robe, and Ginny followed suit. Underneath, he was wearing a pair of freshly pressed khakis and a white button down shirt. Ginny wore a knee length skirt and a wool sweater her mother had knitted.

Now more comfortable, the couple resumed their kissing. Draco sat on the edge of a desk, and Ginny perched herself on his lap. His hands roamed freely up her sweater, and she let them. Her mouth moved alternatively from his neck back to his mouth.

A slight pressure was growing under Ginny's leg. Questioningly, she stopped kissing and looked at Draco, who was once again breathing heavily but no longer from his anger.

"Sorry," he whispered, looking into her eyes and looking slightly embarrassed.

"Don't be," she whispered back.

He looked away and up at the enchanted clock on the wall. "Shit. We'd better end this."

Every fiber of Ginny's being wanted to stay there, in the classroom, on his lap, but her common sense told her to get up and go back to Gryffindor. She suddenly remembered Hermione, who was probably worried sick waiting up for her.

They both stood and walked towards the door, stopping right in front of it. One of Draco's hands reached up to stroke Ginny's cheek.

"You're something special, Miss Weasley," he muttered, and for the first time in her life, Ginny felt it. One last kiss confirmed it for her- he was something special too.

It was late, almost past curfew, but Ginny flew back to the common room on her happiness alone. She couldn't hide it anymore, she needed to tell someone, anyone, about the great thing that was happening to her.... it didn't matter who it was anymore.... the whole world should know....

As she had suspected, Hermione was still sitting up for her, now all alone in the common room.

"Where have you been?" Hermione asked shrilly, striding towards her. "What have you been doing? You're hair's a mess, and what happened to your robe?!"

"I'm falling for Draco Malfoy," Ginny said. It was the only thing that could come out of her mouth.

Hermione gaped back at Ginny and fell backward onto a sofa. "No.... no...."

Ginny nodded. "Yes."

_[A/N- Okay okay I know I'm evil, leaving you like that! More soon, probably tomorrow since I'm working early and then off the rest of the day I promise!!]_


	9. Seeing You Again

"I don't want to know anything!" Hermione cried out. She threw her hands up in frustration and started towards the girl's staircase.

Ginny was furious. "If you don't want to know anything, then why did you wait up for me?"

"I didn't! I was down seeing Hagrid, now that he's back. I was just trying to finish the chapter I have to read.... Oh Ginny, how could you?"

_Hagrid's back. Thank God. _Some relief spread through Ginny, who had been extremely worried about her friend in the last few weeks. It was dominated by the stress she was beginning to feel. She had told Hermione because she thought she could trust her, and now she didn't want to hear anything about it. What if she told one of her brothers, or worse, Ginny's parents?

"Just hear me out," Ginny whispered pleadingly. They were all alone in the common room, but she still feared someone would be listening in.

Hermione looked carefully at Ginny, her eyes penetrating and worried. "How could you do that, Ginny? You know what he's like! You're going to end up getting hurt again!"

"I will not get hurt again!" Ginny retorted. "He cares for me, and he would never hurt me!"

"Oh God," Hermione moaned, putting her head in her hands. "I can't even fathom how this came about." She looked up, and continued, "Ginny, he has made it clear what side he's on. You can't risk this, especially not now. He's obviously using you, to get information or something that he wants. It's not safe."

"Stop it!" Ginny said, not caring to keep her voice low anymore. "I trust him, and I _know_ that he's on our side! I told you because I knew I could trust you, not because I wanted a lecture!"

There was a brief silence in which neither girl said anything. Instead, they stared at one another, trying to understand the other.

Finally, Hermione spoke in a soft whisper that was alarmingly gentle to Ginny. "You mean it? He really cares for you?"

Ginny nodded feverently. "I'm sure of it."

Hermione nodded once. "Then I wish you the best of luck. Just please, Ginny, _be careful_!" Hermione pulled Ginny into a strong hug and then let go.

"Thank you," Ginny whispered, a smile spreading across her face. It was so relieving for her to know that someone was supporting her and Draco's relationship.

"I...," Hermione began. She suddenly seemed nervous. "I know this sounds stupid but I've... had a bit of a crush on him in the past. I know how ridiculous that sounds!" she said defensively.

Ginny smiled. "You don't say."

Both of Hermione's cheeks were turning red. "I know, it makes absolutely no sense! I just used to find him so attractive! I'm glad to see that he can actually care for another human being."

The two hugged again, and then silently went up to bed.

A week had passed since Draco's last encounter with the girl he now considered more than magic. The separation was driving him insane, but it was inevitable. Christmas was approaching quickly, and the teachers were piling on more O.W.L work than ever. She had been appointed seeker to the Gryffindor Quiddich team, which he loved. If he ever had a spare moment, he would sneak down to the Slytherin locker room and watch her fly.

Sleep had been hard to come by for him. Even when he was tired, he would try to avoid sleep as much as possible. When he was awake, all he could think about was her- the way she looked in the darkness, the way her words affected him, the way she felt under his hands. Sleep would bring this, too, but it would also bring him false hope: in his dreams, they were together, and there was no one to care about that.

Dark circles developed under his eyes, clashing with his pale complexion. He noticed that she had them, too.

One day, he sat through History of Magic without dozing at all. He needed to see her right then. Quickly, he scribbled a small note to her, and then stuffed it into the pocket of his robe.

_Meet me in one hour, in our spot. I need to see you again. _

After class dismissed, he knew he needed to act quickly if he was going to catch up with her. Lunch was starting, and she was all the way down at Charms.

"Go along, Pansy, Crabbe, and Goyle... I need to ask Professor Snape about our Potions assignment." Obediently, the three went the opposite way towards the Great Hall. Draco turned the corner and sprinted towards the Charms wing.

His heart beat even faster when he saw her. She was standing there innocently, chatting innocently to that blond girl. A large mass of fourth year Gryffindors and Ravenclaws stood around her, talking amongst themselves. Draco took a brief second to admire her, and then put a false sneer on his face and sauntered down the hall.

She noticed him, out of the corner of her eye, but didn't make it obvious. Draco loved how stealth she was being. Reaching into his pocket, he put the note into the palm of his hand and started to walk next to her. Roughly, he shoved the piece of paper into her pocket, and then continued on his way.

Once he turned the corner, he gave one quick glance back and saw her continue her conversation with her friend, but also slip a hand into her pocket. She nodded up and down for no apparent reason, but Draco knew.

Feeling oddly elated, Draco rushed down to the Great Hall. He quickly ate a bowl of stew and some biscuits, more than he had eaten in awhile. Pansy talked to him, and he actually made an attempt to talk to her. After half an hour, he suddenly excused himself, to Pansy's displeasure.

Draco wanted to sprint to their abandoned classroom, but he also did not want to draw attention to himself. Instead of going the direct route, he took several detours that wouldn't reveal his destination. All he could think about was her, and the way he would feel once they were together.

He arrived at the classroom, took a good look around to make sure nobody was near, and then slipped inside.

She was already there, perched up on a desk, her legs crossed. Draco started, and then moved towards her. A sly smile was spread across her face. She had abandoned her school robe on the floor, and was wearing a short black skirt and a green sweater.

"Ginny," he whispered. He couldn't find his voice anymore. She stood and they moved together. Draco wrapped his arms desperately around her and pulled her close. The world around him seemed to melt away with her this close. He breathed in and was intoxicated by the beautiful scent of lilacs from her hair.

"I've missed you so much," she mumbled into his shoulder.

"I've missed you too."

Draco pulled away and put her face into his hands. She looked up at him, her brown eyes shining and full of happiness. He leaned down and kissed her lips. She kissed him back eagerly.

For several minutes, they exchanged only chaste kisses. Then the cold classroom began to feel very warm to Draco. He broke their kiss for an agonizing moment and pulled off his robe, leaving him in blue khakis and a sweater. He draped the robe onto the floor like a rug and sat upon it. Ginny followed and sat close to him.

The way Draco felt changed dramatically when she sat next to him like this. With them sitting this close, nearly lying down, he lusted for her stronger than ever. He needed to touch her body, and he needed her to touch him.

They kissed again, this time wetly and intensely. Draco put his arms back around Ginny's middle and gently lowered her until she was lying down on the robe. For the second time, she allowed him to move his hands up her sweater. Draco moaned loudly into her mouth and moved so he was on top of her. He no longer cared if she knew the effect she had on his body anymore. He needed her now. Moving his mouth from her lips to her neck, Draco was pleased to hear her whisper desperately, "Draco."

Reaching her hands down, she fumbled with his belt and let her hands do what he wanted her body to do.

After their kissing and touching session was over, Ginny and Draco lay there on the robe, his arm around her. There had never been a girl he had ever cared for more, one who made him feel so whole. But still, he had to know, what had Lucius done to her? It was the one thing that connected him, and he still didn't have a complete answer.

"Ginny?" he whispered.

"Mmm?" she returned. She cuddled closer into his arm.

"What did my father do to you?" he asked gently.

She let out a long sigh, and didn't speak for a while. Draco wondered if she ever would, and he regretted having asked the question. To his surprise, she spoke again.

"When I was eleven, I had a diary that used to belong to Voldemort-" Draco flinched,"- when he was merely human. To make a long, painful story short, Tom- that was his name- possessed me. It was me. I opened the Chamber of Secrets." She was shaking slightly. Draco leaned over and gave her a kiss on the forehead.

"If you don't mind me asking, what did my father have to do with it?"

"He gave me the diary. That son of a bitch gave me the diary."

Anger surged through Draco's veins. He knew his father had gone low before, but he could never have imagined something so terrible. Because of him, a girl was permanently scarred. And why her? What had she done? She had only been an eleven year old girl.

"Oh, Ginny. I'm so sorry," was all Draco could manage to say.

He held her closer, and she burrowed into his arm. Finally, he looked at the clock. He had cut Herbology, and she had cut Potions. Classes would let out soon. If they left now, nobody would notice their absence together.

Silently, they walked through the abandoned hallway daringly hand in hand. They knew that no one would be in the halls at this time, and neither one wanted to let go. They stopped at the end, preparing to say goodbye.

"I'll see you soon," she whispered sadly. Draco couldn't respond. Now more than ever, it was breaking his heart to leave her all alone. He held her hand tighter, not wanting to forget the way it felt when he let go.

"Oh, my. What have we got here?" someone said sleekly behind them. Draco froze and thought he might faint. Ginny whimpered audibly. He recognized that voice. After all, he had taken Potions from him for the past five years.

_[A/N- Sorry the update took so long. I just haven't been in a writing mood. I was also working on an original fiction plot bunny that I needed to chase. Now this story is getting realllly interesting, so expect an update in a day or so!]_


	10. Holding On

"Go to my office, right now, both of you," he hissed coldly. Malice sparkled in his black eyes. "I need to return to my class with these newt eyes, but I'll be there soon, don't you worry." He glared severely at both of them and then swished away.

Silently, Draco and Ginny started towards Snape's office. Draco's chest felt like it was closing. His moth was growing dryer and dryer. Next to him, Ginny was whimpering involuntarily. When Draco glanced sideways at her, he could see how terrified she liked. He desperately wanted to grab her hand, to do anything to take away any of the fear, but it was too risky.

They arrived at the dark, gloomy office. Once the door clicked closed and concealed them from the rest of the castle, they were in each other's arms.

"Oh God," Ginny moaned. She pressed her face, now fresh with tears, into Draco's shoulder. A wet spot was developing on his sweater.

"Stop crying, right now," Draco said urgently. It couldn't appear that anything was wrong when Snape arrived. He pulled away and roughly brushed away the tears from Ginny's freckled cheeks. Placing a hand on her lower back, he guided her towards a wooden chair and sat in the one next to it.

The enormity of what had occurred was beginning tow ear on Draco. He put his face into his hands and went over everything that was now destroyed. Of course, his father would find out. That would probably lead to permanent banishment from the manor. Shame would come to the Malfoy family; he would be burned off the family tapestry...

He would never see her again, once their families were done with them. Out of everything that would come out of it, that was what scared him the most.

He looked up and looked directly ahead. There were several ugly paintings on the wall, mostly of dark grays and blacks spread haphazardly across a canvas. They were nothing like the beautiful, pristine, calculated works of art his mother collected. The dim lighting made them look even worse.

"No matter what happens," he said, staring at the same unattractive paintings "don't forget about us. I care about you more than any other person in this world, and I've only really known you for three months. Yeah, it feels like forever, but that's all. You're something special, don't forget that. You're beautiful."

The voice he was using was no different than a voice he would use while talking to any classmate, but the words he said meant more than anything he could ever say to them. It was all he had felt for the past three months, ever since she had come soaring into his life like a warm breeze.

She was sobbing loudly now, to Draco's displeasure. The situation was bad enough without her bringing her tears back into it. Now his heart was breaking apart.

"Don't be scared.... it'll be fine... don't be scared..." he told the painting.

Suddenly, the door swung open dramatically, and the sobs stopped immediately. Snape strode in importantly and perched himself behind his desk. First, he silently stared directly at Draco, hate in his eyes. Then he gave Ginny a brief glare, and turned his attention to Draco.

"So, it seems I have interrupted something today, have I?" he said quietly but harshly.

Draco cleared his throat and tried to sound confident. "No, sir, not at all. It all seems to be a misunderstanding. We simply passed one another in the corridor.... you're not suggesting that we're.... that she and I..." He gave a loud, false laugh. "Oh, Professor, don't be ridiculous!"

Snape gave him a stare that seemed to penetrate into his thoughts. Jolted, Draco broke the contact. There was a long silence that seemed to slice through Draco. His fear grew larger.

"Well..." Snape said slowly, seeming to understand the effect was having on the both of them. "Let us never... ever... let this _misunderstanding_... happen again." He sneered arrogantly at both of them. "Miss Weasley, I want a two scroll essay on shattering solutions, since you seem to think they're unimportant enough for you so skip out on my lesson. You're free to go."

Completely stunned on how easy it had been, Draco stood shakily. Next to him, Ginny rose as well. He wobbled towards the door, not believing his own luck.

"No, Mr. Malfoy, take a seat. I'm not done with you."

_Dammit_, I knew it. Draco slid back into his seat, suddenly nervous and jittery again. _Of course, I couldn't possibly get off that easily_!

Ginny slipped out quietly and shut the door. Draco could hear her heels clicking quickly down the hall, and he wished he was with her, hand in hand, running away...

"Mr. Malfoy, do not take me for a fool," Snape began smoothly. His eyes were more murderous than ever. "I know exactly what was going on today, and it is absolutely not appropriate."

Deciding to give the ignorance bit one more shot, although it would not work, Draco said politely, "Excuse me, sir? Just what went on? I seem to be confused..."

"Shut up, boy! I told you, I am not a fool! I could see it in both of your stupid faces when I caught you there! You're having some kind of relationship with the Weasley, and like I said, _IT IS NOT APPROPRIATE_."

Snape was breathing heavily, and a vein was pulsing at his temple. He was the angriest Draco had ever seen him. For the first time, he was afraid of the man.

"You don't seem to have any respect at all for the family you come from! Fraterninzing with common street trash like her! Have you no pride in your blood, in what you are? If your father knew what the heir to his fortune was doing when the lights were out... and if I ever, EVER, catch you in a situation like this, believe me, Mr. Malfoy, he _will_ find out!! It is not suitable!"

Anger he did not know he possessed was overtaking Draco. How dare that man, who knew nothing of his life, and his family, and his Ginny, speak to him like that?

Abruptly, he stood and strode towards the door, saying quickly, "Yes, sir, I understand." He knew that he might not be able to contain his anger if he stayed any longer.

"One more thing, Mr. Weasley."

The impatience Draco was feeling for his professor was driving him crazy. Through gritted teeth, his hand on the doorknob, he muttered, "What?"

"Next time, make sure you put your robe back on so that it is NOT inside out. You may go."

...............

Now that the relationship had been discovered, at least by one, and condemned, at least by one, Draco wanted Ginny more than ever. He now knew that he meant all the things he had said to her in the office to comfort her. If she wasn't in his life, he didn't know what he would do with himself.

Their classroom was no longer safe territory. They started meeting every night in their old place, the Owlrey. If there wasn't an Astronomy class, they would go up there. Draco stopped requiring sleep. All he needed was her.

The nights were bitterly cold, and an inch of snow sat stubbornly on the ground. Both towers were open and frigid. It didn't matter to them. Draco would hold her, and she would hold him back, and it was the only warmth they needed.

Their relationship had changed dramatically since the scare. It was no longer the extremely physical, desperate way it had been when they had lain on the floor of the classroom. Sometimes, they would just sit there, the other's presence being enough. They also talked about anything and everything. Ginny told Draco all about what it was like in her family, and he was beginning to understand the Weasleys. He now knew that they weren't the blood traitors Lucius had made them out to be, but just kind, decent people who were trying to do what was right.

He told her everything. He told her about things that he didn't even realize he knew about himself. She heard every story, from when his mother bought him his first toy broom, to his summers in Spain, to all the abuse he had suffered through.

She started to open up more and more to him, which he reveled in. Not only did she talk about her family's trips to Wales to visit cousins, or Ottery St. Catchpole. The whole ordeal she had gone through slowly became a common topic of her conversation. She started out slowly at first, just glazing over the facts. As the nights progressed, she began to speak more and more, and soon it seemed like the words were flying out of her mouth. It was as if she had finally found someone to tell it all to, who wouldn't judge her like other people would, and so she had to tell it all before it all ended.

They would sit around for hours, sometimes until the sun was almost up, but it was never enough for Draco. He cared for her more than ever, and felt more connected. Before they had discovered one another, by chance, he had never known that two people could understand one another as deeply as they did. He knew his friends were starting to notice, and that his grades were slipping, but none of that mattered anymore. As long as she would be there every night, with a warm body, a new story, and a few kisses, then everything was all right.

Christmas was only a week away, and he would have to go back to the Manor... back to his father... away from her...

The very thought made him cherish each moment even more than he already did.

_[A/N- Phew, can't believe I just wrote all of that! I came in here to go email someone and I end up writing a chapter! update soon!! Mr. Weasley's big incident is coming up, ooohhh the suspense!_

_Great to see you back, wipd cream and HP! Thank you so much for all the comments, I loved it!]_


	11. Alone and Together

[A/N- I'm very sorry that this is has taken so long. I wrote almost an entire chapter and it was probably twice as long as my chapters usually are. Then I went to open it today and my disk has some kind of error on it. So yeah I'm a little unhappy right now. I don't really remember what questions I answered before. To make a long explanation short, for those who ask, those are just errors in my story. I don't edit my chapters at all because quite frankly, I don't care if I have minor errors as far as this story goes. Wipd cream and HP- sorry for the long wait! I did have a good reason though :) Thanks to everyone who reviewed, I really appreciate it!

I'm going on vacation Friday for a week to the Dominican Republic, so don't expect any updates before then. MAYBE I'll have another chapter out tomorrow, but don't count on it. Sorry for the gap, I'll try harder when I get home to write more.]

Only three days were left until Ginny would be able to return to the Burrow. She was so excited that she could no longer concentrate on her work. She hadn't been to her real home since the beginning of the summer, and she also couldn't wait to see her parents and Bill and Charlie. School was getting tougher, and the professors kept doling out more work. A vacation seemed like a godsend to Ginny.

The only thing she could see negative about Christmas break was the fact that she wouldn't be able to see Draco for a week. Ever since their encounter with Professor Snape a week earlier, the two had been together almost every night. But that had been two weeks earlier, and now they were both too busy even to sneak out at midnight. Still, just seeing him every day in the Great Hall, or having his arm brush hers in what seemed like an accidental manner was enough for her.

She also couldn't stand the thought of him alone in the Manor with his father. Out of all the things he had talked to her about, his father was the subject that disturbed Ginny the most. She thought that he was monstrous enough for doing what he did to her, but what he had been doing to his own son for almost sixteen years was definitely worse. He would have to go back there, and go through that abuse, and pretend like he's on his father's side, all without her there to support him.

At breakfast, Ginny pondered this intensely, her eyes automatically fixated on him. He was looking especially glum this morning, silently sipping a drink. She was used to seeing him look tired, and she knew she was the cause. Today, he was obviously stressed over something as well. Desperately, she wanted to see him, to let him know that he was cared about before he would have to go home.

A sharp kick to Ginny's calf brought her back to the earth. Next to her, Hermione continued chatting with Harry and her brother, but managed to shoot Ginny a meaningful glare. Ginny was immediately thankful for the heads-up from her friend.

Ginny leaned over, attempting to join the conversation. As always, she was boxed out of the whispers the three exchanged. More than ever, it was starting to get to her. She was, along with Neville and Luna, becoming extremely powerful thanks to the D.A. But still, none of them were good enough to hear anything private exchanged among the three leaders.

Frustrated, she stood up and picked up her bag. Class would start in another 20 minutes, and she thought that maybe she would go down to the library to finish her homework. She briefly thought about cutting class. She knew a lot of people were going to be today. It was bright and sunny, despite the snow on the ground. With Christmas so close, they would all sneak down to Hogsmeade to do a little last minute shopping.

Someone walked past her quickly, brushing her arm. Ginny looked up and saw Draco walking directly ahead of her. Something told her that he wanted her to follow. Keeping a distance, she did, pretending to be very interested in the decorations on the wall to avoid suspicion.

He turned into a hallway she did not recognize, but she followed anyway. The hall was very short and had only three doors. Together, they walked into the nearest classroom and shut the door.

Only 10 desks were in the room, but it was still cramped. Complicated charts and diagrams filled every available wall space. Bookshelves were on each wall. Ginny deduced that it must be an Advanced Arithmancy room.

As soon as the door shut, Draco greeted Ginny with a large kiss. "I need to see you," he whispered loudly.

"I know. I need to be with you, too," she whispered back.

"Can you cut class this morning?"

Ginny bit her lip and looked at the wall at a chart filled with numbers and symbols. It sounded so inviting, cutting Charms and History of Magic to be with Draco. But they had just been caught by Snape... would it be too stupid of them? She looked back at him, and found herself blushing at the way he looked at her. His eyes were full of unmistakable affection for what he was looking at.

"Okay," she whispered back, a smile spreading across her face unwillingly.

Draco's own face broke out into a big smile. He gave Ginny a peck on her lips, then whispered quickly, "Meet me by the staircase by the Great Hall in half an hour." He gave her another peck on her forehead, and then let her go first.

Ginny practically floated to the spot. Finally, they could be together, and properly alone. Gracefully, she settled down onto the dusty, dirty floor under the staircase, where no one would be able to see her.

She wondered what they would do together all day. They would probably go to his dorm, since boys couldn't come into hers. None of the people cutting class would be there, because they would be at Hogsmeade. They could talk freely, not being restrained by time or having to keep their voices quiet. They could kiss without the fear of getting caught.

A sudden thought jarred her mind. If they were going to his dorm, which they probably would be, there would obviously be a bed, which implied many things. She wondered if that was his plan all along. And if it was, was she ready for that?

She went through it in her head while she waited patiently for him. Around her, kids were hurrying to their classes. There had never been a guy in her life she had cared for more. If she wasn't very much mistaken, Ginny was beginning to think that she was falling in love with him. He treated her like a princess all of the time. She had friends with boyfriends, and they weren't treated nearly as well as she was. If it didn't work out with Draco, it would probably be a long time before she would find any other guy. And thanks to her low self-confidence, courtesy of Tom, any guy she would find would treat her badly.

_Yes, maybe I will. If it comes up, that is, _Ginny thought to herself. A small smile settled onto her face.

Twenty minutes later, the halls were completely empty. Even the groups sneaking down to Hogsmeade had left by now. She was beginning to feel impatient, sitting in the dark. She began to wonder if he would show up at all.

Footsteps were drawing closer to her spot. Ginny inched forward and peeked out of the shadow she was settled in. He was walking towards her, a smile on his pale face. She smiled back and stood up.

Briefly, he stood next to her. "Follow me like you did before," he muttered. Then he began walking away from her quickly.

Ginny followed silently like he told her to. While walking, she pretended to be distracted with the contents of her bag. Every once in awhile, she would glance up to make sure he was still relatively in front of her.

He stopped in a small enclave in front of a portrait. She walked up next to him and grabbed his hand.

"Nigellus," he muttered to the painting. It swung forward and they walked into the common room together.

The ceiling was low and the room was narrow and long, but Ginny knew it must easily be bigger than her own common room. Green armchairs were placed in an orderly manner along the length of the room. Fires burned well in the many fireplaces. It was nothing like the slightly messy, random placement of things in Gryffindor. Paintings were abundant, mostly of people who looked like they had lived 600 years earlier. Elaborate chandeliers hung from the ceiling.

"It's beautiful," Ginny breathed, genuinely impressed. Draco just smiled back and led her towards a staircase.

Together, they went up the spiral staircase and went into one of the sets of double doors. Ginny entered another large, well lit room. There were two four-poster beds on the left and on the right. The walls were covered in beautiful green and silver wallpaper. Directly ahead was a very large fireplace, crackling. Everything was very clean and proper looking.

Draco shut the door with a soft click. "That one's my bed," he said, pointing to the bed on the far left with his free hand. "The one next to it is Theodore Nott's, and Crabbe and Goyle sleep on the other side."

"This is so much nicer than Gryffindor," Ginny said.

"Well, you've clearly picked the wrong house," Draco said with a large grin.

Ginny laughed and wrapped her arms around Draco's neck. Their lips came together and they began kissing. Ginny closed her eyes as Draco began walking her towards his bed. Together, they flopped down onto the green comforter and kept kissing.

After several minutes, they broke apart and lay side by side on the bed. Ginny grabbed Draco's hand again and turned to look at him.

"I'm going to miss you so much next week," she murmured.

Draco sighed audibly. "I know." His eyes got a distant look and he appeared deep in thought. He stroked his thumb along Ginny's hand.

"I hate even thinking about you having to be alone with _him_," she said.

"I'll make it through. At least now, I have something here to come back to." He looked at Ginny meaningfully. She thought her heart was going to explode.

"Oh Draco," she sighed, placing a kiss onto his lips.

"It's just getting so ridiculous. I wish I had gone to Durmstrang. That's where father wanted me to go, you know. My mother needs me here, though. If I had gone there, I would be getting a real education. History of Magic is just a joke, Flitwick's off his rocker, and Umbridge is just insane. Then, of course, there's that damned half-breed mumbling his way through Care of Magical Creatures..."

Angry, Ginny let go of his hand quickly and crossed her arms across her chest. "Draco! How could you say that? Hagrid is a great person, regardless of where he comes from!"

"Oh, come on, Ginny, it's true! You take the class, and you have to admit, he's more than a little incompetent!"

Ginny shot him a glare and he shut his mouth. Hagrid was not only one of her favorite teachers, he was also a great friend. Nothing made her angrier than when people discriminated against him just because of his mother. She had come into the room only wanting to be with Draco, and now she didn't even want to speak to him.

He fumbled with the drawer on his nightstand, and pulled out a pack of cigarettes. Silently, he put one into his mouth and handed one to Ginny. Refusing to look him in the eye, she lit it and moved over to the end of the bed.

"You know, Draco, there's still so much that you don't know about people. I know you're on my side, but I have to wonder why. You still don't seem to understand that there is more to a person than what they were born into!" she said loudly, the anger in her voice obvious.

"I don't believe that, and I don't know if I ever can." he said evenly. He moved so he was sitting next to her.

"Then please, enlighten me, how can you possibly be on the good side?!"

Draco was beginning to grow angry, she noticed. "There's more to it than that! I'm on your side because it's wrong, but I don't necessarily believe it! You and I are both elite by birth, Ginny, don't you understand that? Our families have been in magic for hundreds, hell, thousands of years, and you're saying that someone who just bursts into our ancient world, first in their families, is just as good?"

"Yes, I am," she said defiantly. She stared into his eyes, which were narrowed to two silver slits. "It's the same magic, no matter what family they are! Look at someone like Hermione Granger! I know you hate her, but you can't deny that she's a great witch! Then look at someone like Crabbe, a so-called pureblood who couldn't write a paragraph on the difference between a spell and a charm! Draco, it's not what you were born, but what you make of the ability we all have that makes a wizard honorable."

He sighed deeply and ran a hand through his blond hair. They sat in silence for a full five minutes. Ginny had thoughts and angry arguments running through her mind, and she knew Draco must have the same. She was also starting to feel upset- it was the first time they had ever fought. What they had was so good, as short as it had been. Now it was in jeopardy, all because of their strong opinions.

Her eyes started to burn, and desperately Ginny fought back her tears. It was useless, and two warm tears began to slide down her cheeks. Draco looked at them, and his eyes changed from angry to concerned. He moved closer and held Ginny in his arms. He took both of their cigarettes and extinguished them.

"Shh, don't cry," he whispered into her hair. This just made Ginny cry even more. "You're right, Ginny, you're absolutely right. You always have been."

Now she was sobbing into his chest, but she was no longer sad. There was so much pressure, from the relationship itself, and having to hide it from her entire family, and it was all becoming too much for her. When he hugged her and tried to comfort her, it all felt so much better, but the reality that they would have to remain in private was really getting to her. Then to hear him admit to her that she had been right was too much for her to handle.

Ginny regained her composure and wiped the remainder of the tears from her cheeks. Smoothly, she said, "I just can't stand it, Draco! I need to be with you all the time, not in secret!"

"I know, Ginny. I feel the same way," he said, stroking her hair. "But we can't worry about that. We have to enjoy this time while we still have it."

Ginny leaned against his shoulder. It was no longer a question to her, or a maybe. She felt it stronger than ever, and wanted him to know. Quietly, she said, "I love you."

When she let it out, she felt like something huge had escaped from her chest. A different air surrounded the two of them. Ginny felt like she was floating, higher than ever. Saying it out loud had confirmed it even more. She was in love, and had never been happier.

Draco moved his mouth towards hers again, and they kissed. Butterflies filled Ginny's stomach just as they had when they had first kissed. Slowly, they both inched backwards until they were both lying comfortably on the bed. Draco's soft, strong hands made their way into Ginny's hair, stroking it and running through her long tresses.

He moved his mouth onto her neck, placing small kisses on the side and onto her collarbone. He stopped and looked up at her, his eyes full of sincerity. "I love you too, Ginny," he murmured.

Ginny kissed him this time. She couldn't stop herself. Saying it herself was one thing, but hearing it back was so wonderful. In his eyes, she could see that he really meant it, and that was the best part for her. All of these years, all she could find in herself were faults, and now another human loved her, just because she was who she was.

Their bodies and hands moved closer and started to cover more territory. "Hold on," Ginny whispered. Roughly, she pulled off her robe and through it on to the nearest bed. Draco did the same, throwing his onto a chair. Then he moved closer, his mouth on hers, until he was lying on top of her.

Gracefully, Ginny moved one hand towards his belt while the other stroked his back. It was as if she knew what to do naturally. Draco's breathing drew heavier as she unhooked his belt and unbuttoned his khakis. When she was done, she removed her hands from their positions and placed them at her sides expectantly, still kissing Draco's lips.

Draco's own hands found the bottom of Ginny's sweater, and began to pull it upwards. Together, they both sat forward until her sweater was over her head and discarded with her robe. While up, Draco quickly unbuttoned his own shirt, growing increasingly impatient with the slow work of his fingers. Then they both flopped back into their lying position, Draco's bare chest against Ginny's bare stomach.

Desperately, her body ached for his touch. They were all over her body, exploring everything as they had before. During their previous meetings, she had always known when it was time to stop, but now that moment wasn't coming. Just as she had been sure about telling him that she loved him, Ginny was growing even surer that whatever they ended up doing today would be right.

As if knowing that it was the point of stopping, as it had been so many times before, Draco broke their kisses and looked at Ginny. His face was flushed and sweaty, and his hair disheveled. There was obvious effort in his face in having to pull away. "Should we stop?"

Boldly, Ginny shook her head back and forth. "No."

Draco stared back at her, slightly confused for a second, and then smiled. His mouth came together with hers while his hands undid the button of her skirt, adding it to the pile of their discarded clothing. She unhooked her bra and threw it.

"Draco," she whispered as his mouth moved from her neck onto her breasts.

"I love you," he whispered back again, and she knew that there would never be another right moment like this one.

----------

After it had been done, there was no time for them to talk, let alone for them to think. Carelessly, they had forgotten about the time. Soon it would be lunch, and students would be coming into the common room. Desperately, Ginny attempted to locate her clothes and replace them, all the while shouting goodbyes at Draco.

"Oh god, where's my left shoe? Merry Christmas, I doubt I'll see you before tomorrow afternoon! I hope he's not so terrible to you. Goodbye, Draco, I love you!"

She ran back over to the bed and started towards the door.

"I love you, Ginny," he shouted at her retreating back.

Ginny completely skipped lunch and made her way to Flitwick and Binns, inventing an elaborate story about a terrible headache that had stricken her right after breakfast while she was in her dorm getting a book, so bad that she couldn't get down to the hospital wing. Both bought it, probably only because she was always so honest.

Then she went to her afternoon classes, but couldn't for the life of her recall what had occurred in any of them. She felt so changed and so different, all in the course of the day. There was, of course, the fact that she had finally told him that she loved him, and he had told her that he loved her back. Then they had sex, the first time for her and what she believed to be his first too. It didn't matter to her. All that mattered was that she was with him.

There was a D.A. meeting that night, the last before the kids going home for Christmas would leave the next afternoon. It was Patronuses that night, and Ginny produced hers easily. Never in her life had she had a happier thought than that of Draco. She thought that she could produce a million Patronuses of that same dragon.

Heading back to the dorms that night, Ginny was planning on taking Hermione hostage and telling her everything. The more she thought about it, though, the more she knew it would be a bad idea. First of all, and probably most important to Hermione, she had cut two classes. Then, she was experiencing love and sex for the first thing, two things her friend hadn't yet. Most of the time, she had been able to go to Hermione for advice, but now she was suddenly ahead of her friend.

Instead, she settled for a long bath in her dorm, contemplating the different ways her and Draco could be together in public without getting murdered. It started out as serious for her, and then turned comical.

Ginny finished packing her trunk and settled into her bed, falling into a deep sleep quickly. In just a few hours, she would be home, and with all her family, enjoying the holiday....

The next thing she knew, Ginny was being shaken roughly out of her sleep. The entire dorm was dark, and it took her a moment to register what she was seeing.

Professor McGonagall was standing above her in her nightgown and curlers. "Wake up, Miss Weasley! You must see the headmaster immediately!"

Groggily, Ginny sat up and got out of bed. "What... why... what's going on?" she mumbled, pulling on her bathrobe and shoving her slippers onto her feet.

"There's been an accident involving your father. You must come right away," was all McGonagall would say back.

Ginny's heart began to beat rapidly in her chest. Just what had happened to her father? Everything he did for the D.A. put a target on his chest. _Maybe he's not hurt. Maybe he's already dead_, she feared.

"Wait here," McGonagall snapped, leaving Ginny on the stairs. A minute later, Hermione emerged from her dorm with her, looking sleepy and extremely confused.

They arrived in Dumbledore's office, and Ginny's fears were confirmed. Her father had been seriously injured somehow, and nobody was certain if he was okay yet. The circumstances were still hazy, but somehow Harry and his dreams were involved. They would all have to go to Grimmauld Place now to wait for more news.

Ginny placed her hand onto the Portkey, and felt herself moving rapidly towards her destination. Her head was feeling light from all of the stress and worry she was feeling. Her perfect Christmas break was not turning out how she had expected at all.


	12. Christmas at the Manor

Christmas came and passed, but Draco hardly noticed. It was all to alike for him, nothing out of the ordinary. The manor decorated, everything formal, getting new things- that occurred on a daily basis for him, not just at designated holidays.

He spent a lot of time outdoors. There was deep snow on the ground, and the temperature was nearly unbearable, but he didn't care. He couldn't stand to be in his father's presence for long periods of time. All he would want to do was talk more and more about Draco joining him, an idea Draco no longer knew if he could consider.

Although it was bitterly cold, the skies were blue and the sun was bright. He wandered over the hills and through the fields on the property, never feeling more alone. She was everywhere he looked. The bright red holly berries peeking through on the shrubs were her hair running through his fingers, soft and thick. The dark bark of the trees reflected onto the icy surface of the lake was her eyes, secretly gazing intently at him from across the hall.

She hadn't been on the train, which left an unsettled feeling in his stomach. It meant something, but just what he was too scared to think about. The last time he had seen her, they had just slept together for the first time. She was rushing to redress, slipping her black boots back onto her little feet, promising to see him on the train, whatever it took. He had never loved her more. Her absence had to mean something had gone terribly wrong- her brothers, Potter, and Granger were noticeably missing as well. Rumors and whispers had flown around the Slytherin elites on the rain. Pansy had slipped into the seat next to his, grabbing his hand and whispering into his ear, "Word is that Arthur Weasley finally got what's been coming to him," making his heart sink surprisingly.

He could also tell from the way his father had been carrying himself. As usual, he was very busy and preoccupied, slipping in and out of the house, receiving many private visitors in his study, but somehow seeming to stand a little taller, as if he had achieved some sickening victory. He had also not lain a hand on Draco since had had come home, an obvious sign of lack of stress.

Draco wandered into his frosty garden, sitting on a snow-covered bench. He couldn't help but feel conflicted about it. Ginny was the only person who he loved, along with his mother, whether he liked it or not. Somehow, he had fallen under her spell. Her father, though, was a meddling, fool who seemed to have no pride or ambition whatsoever. If something had happened to him, and had not killed him of course, they maybe it would be the right thing to finally set the man straight. But any pain to him would mean pain for Ginny, who regardless of everything she had gone through at such a young age, still somehow managed to love everyone with a passion Draco marveled in. If she was feeling any pain, Draco didn't know if he could stand to see that.

It was growing dark, and with regret, Draco moved himself inside. A house elf helped him remove his coverings and ushered him in front of the fire in the living room.

"Here, sir, you must warm yourself," she sqeaked.

"Make me a cup of tea," Draco demanded, sitting in a chair.

The elf scurried away to meet his request. Draco sighed and leafed through a book sitting on the table next to him. For the first time, he wanted to return to school. Days passed slowly in the manor.

"Draco! Honey! There you are!" His mother drawled from the doorway.

Draco felt his body tense. She was wonderful, there was no denying that, but he was not in the mood to see her. It depressed him even more. Since he had left, she had started drinking even more, often falling asleep with a glass in her hand before noon. He almost couldn't blame her. His father had left an obvious show of bruises all along her arms and neck that not even she could hide anymore.

She staggered towards him and wrapped her arms around his neck before sitting down into the chair next to his, a grim frown on her face.

"What is it, mother," Draco asked slightly impatiently.

"Your father would like to see you now in his study," she replied, a pitying look on her pretty face. "Good luck, son."

Draco's heart was hammering in his chest. Why now? What did his father want with him? Reluctantly, he rose and slowly made his way through the house. Desperately, he tried to put himself in the right mindset. She had changed him and his ideas so much, he wasn't sure how he could handle himself in front of his father.

The two engraved mahogany doors that concealed his father's study loomed in front of Draco, as if showing him the fate that awaited him inside. The carvings were intricate and ancient, just as the house was. There were pictures of knights, princes, and one large one in the middle of a dragon, along with the Malfoy family crest. Draco reached towards a gold knob and pushed the door open.

Lucius was sitting by the fire, his eyes glued on the door where Draco stood. "Come in, son," he said menacingly.

Draco strode towards the chair next to his father, feigning self confidence. He had seen this mood many times before. First, his father would give him some lecture, probably on the way he had been conducting himself, and then the beating would come. He had some trouble figuring out just what he had done to deserve it, however. Usually it was fairly obvious. He left his broom out of the shed again. He was rude to a guest. He didn't do well on his exams. But now, he had barely been home, and he certainly hadn't done anything bad while he was there.

With an angry glare, Lucius considered his son for a minute, sipping the drink in his hand. His gaze made Draco even more nervous. Sweat started to develop on his upper lip, but he was too scared to try to wipe it off.

"So... something has occurred, as I am sure you have noticed," his father began.

"What has happened?" Draco asked.

A chuckle escaped from Lucius, causing Draco's blood to run cold. "Oh son, don't tell me you don't know? All of your little friends at school must know!"

Shaking his head back and forth, Draco muttered, "Sorry."

A look of disgust crossed Lucius's face as he considered his son, and then changed to a look of triumph as he turned his view to the window. "Arthur Weasley has been attacked, and the Dark Lord is responsible. He nearly died, but unfortunately, Potter has ruined it." His brow retracted at this.

"That's excellent." Draco swallowed. It was worse than he thought. Not only was her father hurt, but Harry was involved somehow too.

"Yes, it is excellent. It's more excellent than we could have imagined, actually. It is time you know- there is a plan in action. One that will make the Dark Lord more powerful than ever before, and more power for him means more glory to the Malfoy. Of course, I can't go into too much detail just for _you_, but do know this- I don't think Potter will live to see his sixth year."

His father's mouth twisted into a huge smile, and Draco had to resist the overwhelming urge to vomit. He let his father have his moment of glory, and then the attention turned back to him.

"I am curious, however, to why it is you didn't know," he said slowly, eyes penetrating into Draco's own.

"I told you, father, nobody was sure."

"Oh, but that's not what I've heard. I've been talking to some of my friends, Draco- the Parkinsons, the Goyles, the Crabbes, and they all share a similar story. Now you had better tell me, Draco, just what it is that you're up to that is keeping you so distant and distracted from the people who you are supposed to be fraternizing with! Don't you realize how important these relationships are?! And you just waste it all, doing something stupid that keeps you away from these people! Son, just what are you doing in that blasted school?"

As he spoke, his voice grew louder and he grew more animated until he was standing, shouting right into Draco's face. Draco recoiled and stopped trying to hide his fear. He didn't know how to respond to his father. Nothing he could say would make him understand what he was really going through. He couldn't even make up a creative lie. Had he been that obvious? He had been trying to make an effort to still socialize with all the right people, but she had just grown more important.

"I.... I don't know, father...," he mumbled.

Livid, Lucius raised his hand and struck Draco across his face. Pain rushed towards his face, and he could feel a red mark growing.

"You better give me an answer! You're bringing shame to this family, something we cannot afford at a time like this! You are a disgrace to the Malfoy name!"

Draco closed his eyes, thinking only of Ginny, and let all the words and fists fly at him. A half an hour later, he was significantly more bruised, but he didn't feel broken. He knew that despite everything his father could do to him, right now he had her. She understood what it was like to be him. She understood all he had to go through. Her past held darkness and evilness that he could only imagine, and she was still so strong. She gave him strength to forget it all.

[A/N- Sorry, I know it's short. I just didn't have a lot to write for Draco right now. Next will be longer, I'll try. Update in a day or two. Thanks for all the kind reviews. xxx alee]


	13. The Lost Girl

Christmas vacation was far from relaxing for Ginny. First, she was whisked from her bed in the middle of the night, after everything that had happened with Draco that day, and was then told that her father had been attacked, and possibly killed. Before she knew it, she was back in Grimmauld Place.

She and her brothers, along with Sirius, all listened attentively as Harry recounted to them what had happened to him. It all sounded eerily familiar to her, of something she never wanted to go back to. Looking at Sirius's set jaw, she knew he was thinking the same thing. It was possible it had been some sort of possession, not as she knew it though. Whatever it had been, it left her feeling unnerved.

After his story, there was a long silence and a lot of waiting in the old kitchen. Ginny curled in her chair. She was feeling upset and distressed, but couldn't cry. Her father meant so much to her. He had taught her how to tie her shoes, and how to ride a bike, and how to tell the temperature from the crickets. He had given her medicine when she was sick, and comforted her when she was sad. All of them needed him there. If he died, everything would seem lost to her.

When her mother arrived with the good news, Ginny had never been more relieved. She retreated up to the room she had shared with Hermione all summer, exhausted. But as soon as her head hit the pillow, she could no longer sleep.

It was starting to amaze her how many things could change in a day. Just 24 hours before, she had been sitting in the Great Hall, pretending to eat. She was secure with the fact that her family was safe, and they would soon be sharing Christmas together. She had been a virgin...

For the first time since it had happened, she began to question whether or not she had made the right choice. She did love him, no doubt about that in her mind. When she had made the decision to join him, and then to go to his room, and then to let him go all the way, she had been comfortable that it was the right thing to do. Now, she wondered if she had been too impulsive, and now she had lost something she could never get back. Would she end up regretting what had happened for the rest of her life?

Everyone else slept, and Ginny pretended to be well rested when she rose, wishing she were able to use a refreshing charm outside of school. Still, makeup did help to cover the dark bags under her eyes. When everyone else reassembled in the kitchen for lunch, she got the impression that Sirius had not slept, either.

Harry didn't come down to join them, and stayed hidden the rest of the night, too. Ginny knew how he must feel. He probably thought he was growing evil, and that the only way things would be okay would be if he stayed away from everyone. It was the same reason why she had failed to make any friends her first year.

"Poor dear, he must be shaken up," Mrs. Weasley said worryingly. She took out a rag and began to wipe down the counters. It was her mother's instinct to clean everything in sight at the first sign of stress. "Where is Kreacher, that useless elf?"

Sirius had that haunted look in his eyes. Everyone was engaged in cheerful conversation, but he was looking distantly out the dim window at the approaching nightfall and stray snowflakes. His plate remained untouched after the two bites he had taken of his sandwich. A Firewhisky-and-Butterbeer drink sat in a glass clutched in his bony, pale hand. Ginny got the feeling that he could understand quite well what Harry was going through, too.

"I'm going up to bed," Ginny announced loudly, standing up.

Sirius looked up suddenly, his eyes intense with curiousity and then with understanding. He gave a faint nod, looking into Ginny's eyes. Puzzled, she returned it with a smile and a raise of her eyebrows.

Mrs. Weasley looked started at this announcement. "Oh! All right, dear... it's been a long night. I'll wake you in the morning for the hospital."

Ginny finally found sleep, with her mind peaceful and at ease.

The next morning, Ginny showered, twisted her hair into a bun, and put on a pair of dark pants and a green sweater. The pants were significantly looser on her than they had been several weeks earlier. She put on her makeup slowly, wanting to look good for no one in particular. She felt much older, now that she wasn't a virgin. _Is older a good thing_? she wondered.

When she went downstairs, she was mildly shocked to see Hermione, looking flustered as she removed her coat and scarf. Snowflakes were starting to melt into her curls.

"Oh Ginny!" she said. The two girls embraced and pulled away. "I'm so happy to hear that your father's okay! I just had to come. I'm not really into skiing, I mean the mountains are beautiful but you know what an athlete I am... I would have come regardless, you're all like family to me!"

Ginny just smiled and led Hermione into the kitchen, where she made her a cup of tea. She had grown very used to being just a listener in conversations with her friend, who never seemed to run out of things to say.

"How's Harry been holding up?" Hermione asked as they both sat at the table. Her brown eyes were full of concern.

Ginny never got a chance to answer, because just then, her brothers walked in. After exchanging surprised greetings with Hermione, Ron started to complain of Harry's recent moody behavior.

When Harry finally came out and talked to all of them, he was angry at the fact that they had been saying this. His reaction bothered Ginny greatly. It seemed so childish. Here she was, the only person who knew what it was to be possessed by him and lived to tell it, and he was too self-absorbed to realize it.

"I'm sorry... I forgot," he said sheepishly when she curtly reminded him of this.

"Lucky you," she said smoothly and coolly, wandering away. She needed time away from all of them, so she read a book she found in the parlor before they left for St. Mugno's.

Despite being brought up in a magic family, Ginny had only been to St. Mugno's when she had been born. She was amazed at the whole place. One of the few things she could see herself doing after school was becoming a healer. Seeing her father, though, was a different case. In her head, she knew that he would be fine, and that everything would go back to normal. Seeing him lying there, though, looking so frail and hooked up to machines was too much for her. After a short visit, she joined Tonks and Lupin in the waiting room.

Ever since she had returned home, she couldn't bear to look into her mother's eyes, and she had the same feeling when she visited Mr. Weasley. It was bad enough that she was having the forbidden relationship with the worst possible person, but now she was fourteen and having sex with him, too. They had raised her to always be honest, especially when it came to family. This was how she repaid them- through a web of lies she just kept getting more tangled in. Their innocent little baby wasn't so innocent anymore, and now she was twice a liar.

On her lap, she propped open a copy of _Teen Witch Weekly_ for show, but her mind was going too many places for her to concentrate on the articles ('_Which Skin Clearing Charms Really Work?_') She nearly jumped out of her chair when Tonks spoke to her.

"You look so different, Ginny. Have you lost some weight?"

"I've lost a little something," she replied, turning the page.

---

The next morning was Christmas, and it felt too anticlimactic for Ginny. After the age of nine, the holiday had grown less exciting with every passing year. Especially without her father in the same house, and not being at the Burrow, it felt so meaningless.

Pretending to be excited, she and Hermione ripped open their packages. When she finished, she had a new Weasley sweater, several books from Hermione, quills and a pair of gloves from her brothers, candy from Harry, and Hag Repelling Hairspray from Luna. It was all very nice, but she would have given it all away for just a card from Draco. She knew it was too risky, though, to send anything to each other by post anymore, and she would have to wait until they were back in school. The silver and green tie she had bought him in Hogsmeade lay carefully wrapped on the bottom of her trunk in her dorm.

As usual, Mrs. Weasley prepared a large, extravagant Christmas breakfast. Ginny took a piece of dry toast and a large mug of coffee. While they were at the hospital the day earlier, Sirius had decorated his home up and down, and was walking around singing loud carols. It made Ginny so happy to finally see his spirits up.

When they were all preparing to leave to visit her father again, he turned gloomy once more. She couldn't blame him. For the first time in fifteen years, he had people to celebrate with, and they were all leaving him.

"See you later, Sirius," Ginny said, staring at him intently.

He looked back, eyes full of loneliness. "Yeah... see you later, kid."

Seeing her father in a hospital bed for the second time was even worse for her the second time. The guilt was eating at her more than ever. Ginny went back to the familiar waiting room, which was a lot less crowded than it had been the day before, given the holiday. She stretched out onto three chairs and started at the ceiling.

She didn't want to think about it, but it came anyway._ Just what part did Lucius Malfoy play in this? _She wondered how honest Draco had been when he had told her over and over again that he was not a part of it_. Maybe he's been lying to me all along. Maybe he just wanted to get me into bed._

Harry came in alone and sat down next to her.

"Hey," Ginny said, sitting up. "What's up?"

Harry shrugged. He paused, then said, "You're the only person I feel comfortable with right now."

"There's nothing wrong with you, Harry," she said gently. "You shouldn't be avoiding people. Whatever's going on with you and You-Know-Who, it'll get figured out. You have so many smart, capable people on your side."

He nodded, looking straight ahead. His green eyes were far away, in a look oddly reminiscent of his godfather. "Thanks, Gin... I needed to hear that." He flashed her a small, almost flirtatious smile and gave her right thigh a pat before leaving again.

She sighed and lay down again, rubbing her temples. _You wish, Harry._ Of course, he had failed to notice her for three years, when she had spent hours dreaming of him, doodling his name next to hers and writing silly poems. Now, that she had one serious boyfriend and one just as a cover, he finally seemed to notice that she was of the opposite sex. No wonder he and Ron get on so well, she thought, remembering Hermione's own boy troubles.

---

Two days later, Sirius had become completely sullen, most likely because he would be alone again, with only Lupin for company. Even that would be interrupted for a week each month. Ginny avoided everyone, hiding out in the parlor with her new books. She had a lot of schoolwork to catch up on, but she had carelessly forgotten her schoolbag when she had hurried to leave her dorm.

Her mother came in around noon. "Ginny, dear, please come eat something. You've become so thin."

"In a minute, mum," she said, keeping her eyes on the book. She still couldn't look at her mother without feeling enormously guilty.

Ten minutes later, she wandered into the kitchen and took a piece of fruit. She was growing bored and restless. She thought of Buckbeak, and decided to go up and feed him. In the refrigerator, she found the container of raw meat just for him, abandoned her fruit, and headed upstairs.

Slowly, she opened the door, keeping her head up and preparing to bow. There was a loud squeak inside followed by two gasps, one of which came from her. She bowed, looking into the two yellow eyes, remembering to not get distracted. Buckbeak bowed back immediately, and then Ginny looked to see who else was in the room.

Sirius was sitting cross-legged on the floor, wearing faded baggy jeans and white t-shirt so worn, it was nearly transparent. "Close the door," he said in a bored voice, staring at Ginny.

"I'm sorry. Is it okay that I'm here? I just thought I would feed him." She shut the door behind herself and held up the container to show.

"It's fine. I could use some friendly company." Despite the sad look in his eyes, Sirius gave her a small smile.

Ginny sat down next to him on the carpet. Once she was up close, she could see how thin he was, the dark circles under his eyes, and the dark brown stubble along his jaw. Despite everything, he looked so young to her in there. He was only 35, but always seemed older.

Buckbeak began squawking impatiently. "Oh," Ginny said sheepishly, remembering why she had come in the first place. She opened the container and pushed it forward. The hippogriff devoured the contents and flapped its wings impatiently.

"He's tired of being locked up all the time. He needs to be free. It's driving him mad to be in this old house all the time." Sirius stood and walked over to the nightstand, which had been turned into a makeshift mini-bar. "Want a Firewhisky-and-Butterbeer?"

"Yes, please." He returned next to her and handed her a glass. She took a gulp, the familiar taste of the sweet drink mixed with the alcohol flooding her mouth. She had been stealing her parents' alcohol every now and then for a year, and sometimes Bill would let her have a drink with him.

"You never let the others drink," she remarked with a smirk.

He gave her a sly smile. "That's because I know they never have before. You're more mature than all of them, Gin, despite your age. You should be proud of that."

"Thank you," she said, flattered. They both sipped at their drinks for a while.

"Harry, the poor kid. He can't handle it. Must think he's going to hurt everyone, now. I know how that feels, and I know that you do too," Sirius muttered. He was watching Buckbeak, who was now hunting under the bed for scraps of food.

"Yeah," Ginny said. "As much as I knew it was... it was Tom, I still avoided everyone when all of that went on."

He nodded. "After... after James and Lily died, I knew it wasn't my fault. It hadn't been my secret to keep. But still, I found myself thinking all those what ifs. I was afraid that other people would get hurt, based on the all the choices I made. You know?"

"I know. He'll get over it, eventually." She paused, and then said, "It must be so hard for you, living like this. I mean, you're free, but are you really?"

Sirius nodded and didn't respond right away. "Anything is better than being there, though. The worst feeling is knowing you're innocent, but having to live as if you're guilty. You would think that getting out of prison would be freedom... but it's not. I'm still suffering."

She nodded, feeling even sorrier for him than she had. They had both finished their drinks already. Sirius rose and refilled them. "Thanks."

He sat a little closer when he sat back down, and looked right at Ginny. "How are you doing, dear? You seem so different- I know something's going on. You can't hide it, you know. Your mother may fall for that 'I'm not hungry' act, but I know better."

Sighing, she ran a hand through her long hair. "Oh... where can I even begin?"

Sirius's eyes sparkled. "If I am not very much mistaken, I would have to guess that the youngest Weasley is on love."

Color rushed to Ginny's cheeks. "How do you know?" she cried out. Being so thin, the alcohol was already getting to her. Besides, Sirius made his drinks strong.

Throwing back his head, Sirius let out a laugh. "I can always tell! So, tell me then, love, who's the lucky guy? And what's with all this sulking, if you're so in love?"

"Nuh uh! Not telling!" Ginny giggled and drained her glass. Sirius got up again and instead of refilling their drinks, he returned with the entire bottle of Firewhisky. They both took a shot and then let it rest between them. Sirius had starting beaming at her.

"It's that serious, then?" Noticing the pun, they both let out a laugh.

Nodding, Ginny said, "Yeah, he's a really great guy. He's good to me. I really love him." When she said it though, she couldn't help but feel as if she was lying. Somehow, her feelings for Draco had changed.

_Is he really that great? You barely know him? Is he good to you? Or is that an act? Is he telling the truth to you, or to his father and his friends? _

_Do you love him, or is this just infatuation?_

She had really started to doubt that her feelings were genuine. Her smile faltered slightly, but enough for Sirius to take notice.

"Hey now... what's the matter, then?"

Looking down, Ginny picked at the carpet. The feelings were all growing too strong for her to handle. On top of that, the secret of what she had done was ready to burst out of her, and she knew that if she didn't tell anyone soon, she would end up telling the wrong person. If anyone could understand her, it would be Sirius. He had already proven that to her. She took a long shot out of the bottle, feeling it burn down her throat and into her stomach, and then said slowly, "Sirius... how old were you when... when you first had sex? Did you love her?"

He let out a long, steady breath, and also took a shot. "Sixteen." He looked at her. "This means exactly what I think it does, huh?"

Biting her lip, Ginny nodded slightly. "Just the other day." She couldn't hold back the tears anymore. It was all too confusing for her. It was all too soon. "I let him do it, I thought I loved him, now I'm not sure at all!" She felt the warm tears running down her cheeks. Soon, she became hysterical, gasping for breath.

She closed her eyes and felt rather than watched as Sirius wrapped his arms around her body and drew her into his chest. "Oh, Gin, don't cry. It'll be okay. Please, don't cry. You're too pretty to cry like this." He ran one hand over her hair. The tears started to become less hysterical, and soon ceased to flow from her eyes. She took in a deep breath. He smelled like whiskey, but also like cologne.

She sat back wiped the last tears off of her cheeks. Sirius kept one arm wrapped around her back and kept her close to him. "So tell me, what's going on?"

"It's just... oh Sirius, I'm not sure at all if it was the right thing! I mean, I thought it was at the time, I thought I was in love with him, but I was obviously caught up in the moment and..." She waved a hand in the air. Sirius nodded with understanding.

She continued, "Now I'm remembering all the things my mother told me. Not until your married or at least until you can care for another life on your own! Always be sure before you say 'I Love You'. I realize that I _am_ only fourteen, but I think I'm old enough to know what love is... I'm just not sure anymore if that's what it is! I'm so confused about everything!"

Sirius was silent for a moment as he thought. His fingers wrapped around her hip delicately. When he spoke, his voice was full of gentle caring that she had never heard before.

"Like I told you before, Gin, you're more mature than is to be expected at your age. You're way beyond your years, in maturity and in intelligence. That's no accident. You've been through horrors that the others couldn't understand, not even Harry, and you've gotten through it all on your own and turned out beautifully. I know you to be- no, you _are_ a rational, intelligent, wonderful young woman. _I_ would trust you with any decision you would make. You should learn to trust yourself. You're more reliable than you may think. You can't look back on this and feel guilty. What's done is done. What you _can_ do, though, is really think about it until you're sure, and then see where it's going to go from here."

A smile broke through Ginny's tear-streaked cheeks. Whether or not he was right or wrong, it made her feel good. What he said spoke to her in just the way she needed to, and she was confident that he was right. For a minute, she thought about everything.

Whether or not she loved Draco, Ginny was no longer worried about. However, she knew that once she returned to Hogwarts, it would be better if they didn't see each other again for a little while. In his absence, she would really be able to know how she felt about him, and maybe gain a little more faith in what he said to her. Maybe they would get back together, maybe they wouldn't. It no longer mattered to her.

"You're right, Sirius. You're right about everything. Thank you," she whispered.

He pressed his lips onto her forehead. "You're welcome." Brief as the contact was, Ginny noticed how gentle and soft his lips felt. She wondered for an ephemeral moment what it would be like to kiss Sirius. He understood her, he had faith in her, and she trusted him. _I am up for a new experience..._

"You're sweet," she whispered. She gave him a kiss in return on the cheek. When she pulled away, she hovered dangerously close to his face. Looking into his brown eyes, she could see the desire. The grip he had on her hip grew tighter... she could feel his breath on her own lips...

Cursing under his breath, Sirius jumped up, causing Ginny to nearly fall over. She stood and watched him stride towards the window, his back to her. He looked outside and ran his hands through his hair, leaving them there. He muttered, half to himself and half to her. "It's wrong.... so wrong... maybe if I were younger... if you were older... if things were different..."

She turned bright red. _What have I just done?_ "I'm so sorry. Oh God. I'm sorry. I have no idea what came over me!" she blurted out.

He shook his head back and forth, his back still to her. "Just forget it. This looks bad enough as it is. Get out of here, love. And don't let anyone see you until you've sobered up a little."

Ginny stumbled out of the room, shutting the door, and locked herself in the bedroom crying into the pillow the rest of the afternoon. She had never known herself to feel so dirty and cheap. She eventually fell asleep, and when she awoke in the middle of the night, she knew what to do.

---

Creak

What? What are you doing?

It's okay.

No, no, leave, leave now, leave me...

Relax. We both want the same thing.

It's not right...

We're both so lost, there is no right anymore.

You shouldn't be here...

Relax...

Ohhhhhhh

---

Ginny wanted to erase herself. For the remainder of the vacation, she hid away even more than she had been. It was too much. How could she have made so many wrong choices in just a week? She was so confused. She barely recognized herself anymore. She would look in the mirror and wonder, _who is that girl? _Who is that girl who ruins people, who pushes away her family, who denies love? Why doesn't she know who she is anymore? Where did she go?

They wouldn't look at each other, and she wouldn't look at anyone. If she looked them in the eyes, they would know that she was lost and ruining everyone's life.

He was on edge. He drank even more. When Snape came, he was even more agitated than he would have been. He was even colder with Harry. When it came time to go back to school, he barely said goodbye to his godson, let alone to anyone else.

_I did that to him. What have I done? _she wondered miserably.

Right before she went out the door, they locked eyes for the first time since it. She couldn't read his expression. She didn't care. It would be better, with her trying to go back to the way things had been, trying to repair the damage.

_Where is Ginny Weasley?_ she thought over and over as the train sped back to Hogwarts.

---

[A/N- Thank you so, so much to everyone who reviewed my last chapter! As promised, this one is very long. I love this chapter, it's probably my favorite. I know, it's well... it may not sit well with everyone, but I love it anyway. Seriously, thank you for the kind words of encouragement! I appreciate it greatly =)]


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